A Mediocre Man
by hazelmom
Summary: Tim is caught between who he is and who his father wants him to be. Hints of McAbby and a flirtation for Gibbs.
1. Chapter 1

**A Mediocre Man**

A/N: McGee is caught between who he is and who his father wants him to be. Hints of McAbby and a possible flirtation for Gibbs.

Chapter 1

"Hey, how you doing, buddy?"

McGee jerked his head around. The kid at the counter was thin, wearing a Megadeth t-shirt and ragged jeans. It was the same kid as last time. McGee nodded curtly. He put his key into the post office box and found a slip. He went up to the kid. "Package was too big for the box."

"Yup." The kid slowly rummaged through a table stacked with boxes. McGee glanced up at the clock. 1:34 a.m. He was going to be lucky if he got four hours of sleep.

"What's your box number again?"

"1036." McGee struggled to contain his impatience.

The kid finally held up a package. "Your name?"

McGee cleared his throat. "Tony Gibbs."

"Okay. Here you are."

McGee grabbed the box and headed out. The night was cool and as clear as the city's pollution allowed. He tore off the wrapping and opened the box. It was a bottle of 500 tablets. The last bottle of 300 had lasted less than two months, and just this week, he was taking up to 6 tabs a day. His doctor prescribed him 2 tabs. He shook two into his hand and threw them into the back of his mouth. Then he leaned against his car as he grimaced a dry swallow.

He was about to get into his car when he noticed the kid at the door to the store with his arms folded. The kid grinned at him and then disappeared. McGee's face got hot and he wanted to go back in there and tell the kid to mind his own damn business, but he didn't do that. However, McGee knew that indignation was only a tool allowed for the innocent.

….

He saw her while he was waiting in line for coffee. It was one of those wonderful mornings where the humidity was cut by a fresh breeze off the Anacostia. A mother with four children of varying ages was leaning over the railing staring down at barge on the river. The kids were pointing and waving at the sailors on the barge like they were superheroes. Gibbs smiled at their excitement. Pure delight was an emotion reserved for the very young.

The line was long this morning, but Gibbs waited patiently. This was his caffeine dealer of choice, and he found that as he aged, he didn't easily tolerate the exotic iterations that coffee came in. He wanted a dark roast, a breakfast blend, dressed with nothing but its own steam.

His eyes wandered as he waited, but not from impatience. He had plenty of time to get to his desk and act important while he waited for a callout. His eyes stopped on a woman sitting at a bench leafing through a book. She had hair the same red of his mother: almost a brown red with thick waves down her back. The woman wasn't young, but she wore a sleeveless shift, showing off strong, lean arms and legs. His mother used to wear thin, cotton dresses like that in the summer. Shannon, on the other hand, always preferred torn jeans and t-shirts.

"Agent Gibbs, here is your coffee."

He blinked, his reverie interrupted. "Thanks Darcy. Can, uh, you make it two? I'll take cream with the second one."

Gibbs maintained a certain air of impenetrability when he was at the yard, but it couldn't hurt to share a morning cup with a lovely woman. Darcy smiled when she handed him the second cup. She'd already spotted his conquest. He ignored the amusement in her eyes and took the two cups.

He stopped at the bench. "Is this seat taken?"

She looked up, shading her eyes with a hand. "Uh, no. Sit down."

He sat down, his eyes on the river.

"You're double-fisted with the coffee there."

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was a naturally shy man around women. They would forever simultaneously beguile and perplex him. He was a man of few words essentially because he could find only a few when he needed them. His blessing was his chiseled good looks. Women tended to forgive eloquence in favor of a handsome smile. He looked down at his coffee. "Well, I was hoping to share the bench, and it seemed prudent to bring a…gift."

"Oh, it's for me." She smiled broadly. He noted the pale freckles on her nose. Her eyes were hazel flecked with gold and green.

"I guessed the cream."

"You guessed correctly," she said reaching for her cup.

"What are you reading?"

She held up a book. "I went to the most wonderful art exhibit last night. Wood artists from around the country are in town for an exhibit at the National Gallery. I have a friend who is in the show, and this is why I went, but I was blown away by the level of craftsmanship and artistry throughout the exhibit."

He raised an eyebrow. "Furniture?"

"No, art made of wood that isn't necessarily functional. Some of it was. Let me show you." She put down her coffee and opened the book. She pointed at pictures of wood sculptures. "See how the artist doesn't carve a design; he merely honors the grain of the wood. It's quite striking, don't you think?"

"It is. That piece must be mahogany."

"Yes, it is. If you're a fan of furniture, they had a section on it. I think it's in the back of the book somewhere."

He chuckled. "I like wood. I mean…what I mean to say that I work with wood. I'm sort of a carpenter…sometimes a craftsman. Not to this extent. I make boats…and other stuff. It's what I like to do when I'm not working."

"Well, you should go see this exhibit. It's only going to be in D.C. another couple of weeks."

"Are you an artist?"

She shook her wavy hair at the breeze. "The answer is no if you're asking if I make my living with art, but I do like to paint. I like to write poetry."

"What brought you to the Navy Yard?"

She smiled. "My son. I was in town to meet with someone, and it didn't go as planned, but my son is here, and I'm hoping to salvage the trip."

"A son shouldn't keep his mother waiting."

"I'm surprising him actually, which is unwise. Like his father, he hates surprises, and he is very regimented about work. I thought maybe I could catch him, and we could schedule for lunch." She shook her head. "It's a stupid idea, really."

"You're nervous."

She sighed. "His father and I are separated, and we had what he likes to call a summit to discuss the situation. I came expecting one thing and it turns out he has a girlfriend."

Gibbs blew out air. "Sorry."

She shrugged. "That's not the problem. I wasn't hoping to get him back. I can't be what he needs me to be anymore. It was just unexpected. Sort of signaled the end of an era…we'd been together for 36 years."

He watched her.

"And I bet you thought I would be a lot more fun than this." She said as she sipped her coffee.

"No expectations."

"There's an ease about telling this to a stranger."

He nodded. "I know what you mean."

She handed him her book. "So, are you going to go to the exhibit? I bet it will inspire your next project."

"It doesn't sound like my kind of event. I'm a pretty simple guy."

"You'd be surprised. There were lots of jeans and leather jackets there."

The corner of his mouth turned up. "Maybe if I had a guide, but the only one I know has already gone."

She looked down at her hands. "Well, I could be persuaded. It was a wonderful show, but it all depends on my son's schedule."

"Hey, I don't know what I was thinking. I haven't even introduced myself. I'm Special Agent Leroy—"

"Mom! Is that you?"

She dropped the book in Gibbs' lap and stood up, smiling. "Timothy! It's been too long!"

Gibbs blinked as McGee hugged the beautiful woman and kissed her on the cheek. "What are you doing here, Mom?"

She took a step back. "Oh, you are better looking every time I see you."

"Answer my question."

She put up her hand. "I was trying to visit your father. It didn't go as well as I'd hoped. I know you must be busy, but I'm staying at Penelope's while she's in Europe and I thought I would drop in on you."

"What happened?"

"Honey, not now. Just be happy to see your mom. Okay?"

He nodded and noticed Gibbs on the bench. "Hey, you got to meet the boss."

Gibbs shifted uncomfortably. "We hadn't really gotten to that point, Tim."

"Oh! Well, Mom, this is Leroy Jethro Gibbs," he said. "And Boss, this is Patricia McGee."

Gibbs got up and extended a hand. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. McGee."

She smiled. "Patty is good, Special Agent Gibbs."

"Ah, you can call me…Jethro."

"Beautiful biblical name."

Gibbs' face colored. "Well, actually, I was named after my father's friend and business partner."

She turned back to McGee. "Tim, I've always wanted to see your work space."

"Mom, it's in the middle of a work day. Besides, it's just a desk. Nothing else. And I have a huge report to finish by noon." He wiped at a sudden burst of perspiration.

"Of course, what was I thinking? I should know better than to show up unannounced."

Gibbs screwed up his face. "Are you kidding, McGee? This is no way to welcome your mother."

"The report, Boss."

"Well, you have a few minutes."

"Not really. Tony didn't email his data until midnight last night."

"Can someone else do the report?" Patricia looked from one to the other.

McGee snorted and Gibbs shook his head. "I'm afraid Tim is our resident magician when it comes to this particular skill set, but we're not going to let that slow us down. No reason why you can't come up and meet the rest of the team."

She grinned. "I've been waiting years to meet Tony."

McGee rolled his eyes. "Oh God, this is going to be annoying."

….

Tony glanced at McGee's empty desk. "He's such a McScrooge today."

Ziva scowled. "You didn't get him your data until midnight last night. What do you expect?"

Tony smiled. "He loves it when my data is late. He can fuss about how he has an impossible task and complain about how it's all my fault and then he puts that brain and those little magic fingers to work and he gets it done. Every single time. And then Gibbs acts all impressed. I got my data in late to put him in a better mood."

Ziva made a face. "That's seriously twisted, Tony."

Tony pondered the idea. "But brilliant, right?"

Ziva rolled her eyes. "He is not your toy to play with as you please."

"Oh, but he is, Ziva, and before you get too indignant, our little geekster isn't so clueless that he doesn't know what I'm up to. Our McMartyr loves the challenge and the ultimate salvation in defeating my inefficiency."

"It's not going to help him."

He grimaced. "I wish it would. What the hell is wrong with him? He's jittery, can't sit still. It's beyond his usual dose of nervous energy."

"Spending time with his father has been hard on him."

"How do you know? He won't talk about it with me."

She sighed. "You can tell. He looks so stressed after a visit. It's good that his father is getting his chemo at Bethesda, and I thought it would be good that McGee had such regular access to him, but…I don't know."

"I know what all that jitteriness reminds me of."

She shot him a hard look. "Don't say it."

"Okay, we'll just say that Probie is worried because the old man is sick," Tony drawled and then his attention was stolen by Gibbs coming off the elevator. "Oh my God! Is that who I think it is?"

Ziva stood. "She's beautiful."

Tony grinned. "That's my new mom!"

Ziva turned and frowned at him, but Tony walked past her with a big smile. "Patty!"

"Tony!" The red-headed woman said. She came forward and let him envelop her in a hug. McGee looked at the ceiling.

Tony pulled away and cocked his head. "I didn't know you were going to be in town."

Gibbs gave him a strange look as he passed them and went to his desk.

"Well, it wasn't advertised. I went to see John."

Tony winced. "Oh, how did that go?"

McGee took his mother's arm, pulling her away from DiNozzo.

"Come on, McGee. You can share. She always wanted a second son."

Tim ignored him as he led her to Ziva. "Ziva, this is my mother, Patricia McGee."

Ziva impulsively hugged her. "I've heard so much about you."

"And I have about you, my dear Ziva. You are gorgeous! Those eyes! You're a modern day Mona Lisa!"

Ziva blushed. "You are the beautiful one. And I have been waiting years to meet my dear friend and partner's mother. Will you be here for a while?"

Patricia looked at Tim. "I think I might be. I'm staying at Penny's house right now. She's in Europe, and I literally have nothing pressing to return to in California."

"Good!" Tony said. "We'll hang out."

"Get your own mom, Tony."

He sighed and turned to McGee. "I can't. She died when I was ten."

Everyone got silent for a moment. McGee looked down at his feet. "I know. I'm an idiot. It's just weird with you being so familiar with her."

"Yeah, DiNozzo, how did that happen?" Gibbs raised a brow.

Patricia jumped in. "It's my fault really. Tim is like his father. He internalizes his stress. I ask him how he is and I get nothing back other than, 'I'm fine, Mom'. One day when I called, Tony answered, and I will admit that he did a great job of letting me know how Tim really was doing. So we exchanged numbers."

Tony shrugged. "Sometimes I call her for advice. It's not a bad thing."

McGee deflated. "It's weird."

"Do you want me to stop talking to Tony?"

"No," he said crossly. "I know I shut down when things are stressful. I'm glad you have someone who helps you feel better informed as long as he doesn't scare with stuff you don't need to know."

"Tony is very circumspect."

"Well, that's not the Tony I know, but I guess I'm glad the two of you can be friends. I'm just getting used to it is all." Tim was still talking to his feet and Gibbs thought about how people so easily revert to their childhood behaviors in front of their parents.

"Can I have a tour?" Patty said clasping her hands.

"I have a report to finish. Remember?"

Tony stepped up. "That's what your big brother is here for, Tim. Allow me."

Gibbs shook his head. "Plant that considerable behind in your chair, DiNozzo. You're doing all the DD-5's for the week."

"What!?"

"Consequence of getting your data in late."

"I was trying…I was trying to help the probie."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Sit down and get started. I had Dorneget bring up a pile this morning. Mrs. McGee, I would be happy to give that tour now."

"Only if you call me Patty." She smiled and offered him her elbow.

…..

"He's everything Penny said and more," she said as they walked toward Abby's lab. "That Scottish accent and those manners!"

Gibbs smiled. "Ducky is a pretty remarkable guy. He's been an extraordinary friend and a brilliant medical examiner."

She took his arm. "I'll admit that I have been waiting to meet Abby for a very long time. Tim has talked about her most of all."

"She's very special and more than a little…eccentric. Expect the unexpected," Gibbs said as he ran into the lab door. His reflexes saved him any real embarrassment and he stood back and frowned. "She doesn't usually lock this door. Hold on."

He knocked on the door and got no answer. Then he hit her number on his phone and waited, "Abbs!...Okay…okay…one minute."

He sighed. "Uh, apparently she's working on a big case. I'm going to have you sit in this conference room while I check on her."

He got her settled and then banged on the lab door. "Abby!"

A long arm reached out and grabbed his collar, pulling him inside. Abby shut the door behind him, locking it securely.

"What was that all about?"

She paced back and forth in front of him. "I can't believe he didn't tell me she was coming! He is in so much trouble!"

"McGee? He is as surprised as the rest of us."

"That's what he says."

"No Abbs, I was there. He was surprised."

"Really? I yelled at him when he told me she was on her way down."

"Then I guess you better apologize. I think he already getting plenty of criticism these days."

"His eyes are funny, Gibbs. Watch his eyes."

"I know."

"What is she doing here?"

"She wants to see her son and meet his friends. She's very nice, Abby."

"I know," she said. "She's the best. He let me talk to her on the phone once and she was amazing, but I can't meet her like this."

"Why not?"

"Look at me!" Abby held out her "Punk Rock Rules" t-shirt.

Gibbs stood back and surveyed her. "You look like you."

"I know! It's my dog collar day and look at the cute skulls I stamped on my black nail polish. I look way too much like me."

"I don't get it."

"I want to make a good first impression, Gibbs."

He snorted. "Well, it's not like she's going to be your mother-in-law or anything."

Abby bit her lip and looked at the floor.

He blinked. "Okay, that's the second time today I've said something incredibly stupid."

"Just tell me that today is not my only chance to meet her."

"She wants to take all of us out tomorrow night to dinner."

Tomorrow night? I can do that!" She smiled brightly. "I'll shop. I'll be sophisticated Abby. It'll be great!"

"Okay, well until "sophisticated" Abby gets here, do you think "punk rock "Abby could allow the rest of the agency access to her lab?"

She smirked. "Just as long as "foot in mouth" Gibbs can keep Patty McGee away for a day."

"Will do."

"Oh, and Gibbs, tell her…how excited I am to meet her."

…..

Patty looked up when he came in. "Abby's busy?"

"Yeah. Sorry. But she is very much looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night." Gibbs sat down across from her.

"Is this part of the tour?"

"Earlier today, I didn't recognize you, and I…acted…what I'm trying to say is that I apologize if I came off as—"

"Apologize? I thought it was your rule never to apologize."

"He's told you a lot. I made that rule as a young man, and I have found that its one rule that hasn't always stood the test of time."

"It's not an issue, Gibbs. We were both enjoying the summer sun and the possibility of something new. There's no harm in that."

"I'm Jethro."

She smiled and he liked how the crinkles at the corner of her eyes turned up. "Good. Maybe, we can be friends."

"You really here to see the admiral?"

She sighed. "He was my first stop, but I think we both know that I'm here because something is wrong with my son."

"You think the admiral has something to do with it?"

She bit her lip. "John is a good man underneath all the arrogance. He loves Tim with all of his heart. It has meant a lot for Tim to be around during this time, but…I know you've met him, I just don't know how much you've seen."

"I saw enough. I never saw him get past the arrogance. He was really hard on Tim."

She blinked and he could see the moisture gathering in her eyes. "Right now, he's angry, frustrated, and helpless. Imagine a bear caught in a trap."

"You went to see him. Did he agree to back off on Tim?"

She shook her head. "I wounded him badly when I left last year. You say you didn't recognize me and yet there is a picture of me on Tim's desk."

"That was a blonde woman in a suit."

"It turns out the wives in the admiralty wear uniforms too. He liked my hair blonde and straight with enough makeup to cover my freckles. I wore silk, linen, or wool and high heels at all times. I was a good wife for a very long time."

"He doesn't like the real Patty."

"I was Tricia when I left, but I grew up Patty. That's who I went to find. Now, he says I look like a farm wife, but it doesn't matter. I feel free."

"He didn't want to hear you about Tim, did he?"

"No. Not at all. According to him, our son is coming to terms with the bad choices he's made career wise."

Gibbs looked away. "The man doesn't respect his son's choices. Hard for me to equate that with love."

"I'm struggling with it too right now."

"You can't help him if you make excuses for your husband. That man is selfish."

"Wow! You don't pull any punches, do you?"

"You had to run away to find yourself. That should tell you everything you need to know." Gibbs got up. "Take a few minutes. Your son should be ready to go to lunch in half an hour."

She sighed deeply and dropped her head in her hands as he closed the door behind him.

…..

Pamela came down the stairs fast and her eyes swept the bullpen. Tony looked up at her. "Looking for terrorists?"

"Where's McGee?"

Ziva looked up. "Lunch. His mom is in town. Gibbs gave him the afternoon off."

"No! Get him back here!"

Tony stood. "What's going on?"

"There's been a mistake!" She was speaking in a harsh whisper as she leaned over the railing.

"Get down here!" Tony said firmly.

She trotted down the rest of the steps and then looked around to see if anyone was listening. "The report is a mess. I found two mistakes in the first page alone."

Ziva frowned. "That's not like McGee."

"I have to get that report to the GAO by tomorrow morning. If the director finds out…it is not going to be pretty."

"Email me the report. Ziva and I will work on it."

She gave him a strange look. "I thought McGee was the numbers guy."

"Well, Pamela, today the Israeli and I are the numbers guys."

"When is the latest time you'll take it?" Ziva asked.

"I'm going to be at my desk until 7 p.m. Wouldn't it just be easier to call McGee back in?"

Tony looked at Ziva. "Not this time."

…

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for reading. This will be something of an angst-fest, but I hope it works for you. I did some research and found that Ativan can act in the manner I've written. I've tried to temper the best I could. The idea of Gibbs being attracted to McGee's mom has been explored before in fanfiction. I am doing the best I can to keep it reasonable. As always, I appreciate those who take time to let me know what they think. Sheila

A Mediocre Man

Chapter 2

"I like your dress, Mom." McGee said as they strolled through Rock Creek Park.

She smiled. "It reminds me of the dresses I wore when I was a girl. I have to say that, despite the wrinkles on my face, I've been feeling like a girl."

"You look good. That really your natural hair color?"

"Yup."

He pointed to a bench. "Let's sit."

She sat down next to him. "Did your dad tell you about my visit yesterday?"

"No, but I imagine he was crabby. Between the radiation and the chemo, he gets pretty uncomfortable. Plus, I'm sure he doesn't like how much you changed."

"His girlfriend was there."

Tim winced. "I'm sorry, Mom. I probably should've warned you about her."

"I'm not trying to reconcile with your dad, Tim. She awfully young and pretty though."

"Francesca. She's daughter of the ambassador to Paraguay."

"He can be a real charmer."

"Yeah," Tim chuckled. "He's on his very best behavior around her. And she loves the idea of being with a very important man."

"What is he like around you?"

"I think you can guess. I don't blame him really. He's going to be retired after his current project is completed. It's a huge disappointment. He was this close to a cabinet post."

"You sound like I did a few years ago- always making excuses for his behavior."

He shrugged. "He always said you and I were a lot alike."

"And your sister is like him to a T. He told me you're rethinking NCIS."

McGee shook his head. "No, I just stopped arguing with him about it."

"Tim, you don't have to put up with his…crap."

He looked her in the eye. "For the first time in my life, he needs me. He might not think I made much of my life, but I know he loves me. I can really feel it. Do you have any idea how long I've waited for that?"

She took his hands. "Tim, don't let him get away with treating you any less than you deserve."

"Okay."

She clutched his hands tighter. "You're trembling."

He pulled away. "Just behind on my sleep, Mom."

"When do you see him next?"

"I'm going over tonight for a couple of hours."

"Tim, go home and get some rest. Let the South American princess take care of him."

"Okay. For you, I will."

She patted his cheek. "Okay, I saw a bathroom back there. Wait here. I'll just be a minute."

He watched her walk down the path and waited until she turned a corner before digging in his pocket and swallowing two more Ativan.

…..

"By God, I am a bald man now!" Came a voice from the bathroom.

Francesca looked up from her book. "It is okay, my love. A man like you doesn't rely on his hair for his- what is the word? Charisma! This is true, Timothy. Tell your father he is attractive."

McGee sat on a sofa, his hand on his chest as he monitored the irregular beating of his heart. It had started in the last couple of days, leaving him uneasy. He looked at South American bottle blonde and sighed. "Dad, do you need anything?"

"Make me a scotch!"

"God help me," Tim murmured. "No alcohol right now, Dad! It dehydrates you!"

"Make me a damn scotch! And where is my damn razor?!"

"I will get it for you, mi amor." She stood up, a vision in gold jewelry and silk and headed for the bar.

"Francesca, the doctor said no."

She tossed her perfect curls. "Doctors are paid to fuss, Timothy. Your father wants to live his life, not hide under a rock!"

McGee scrubbed his face and looked at the ceiling. John McGee came out of the bathroom with his head shaved clean. "I couldn't handle the fuzzy remains."

Francesca came over with a scotch and handed it to him. Then she draped her arms around his waist. "You look amazing, my darling."

John McGee focused on Tim. "You saw your mother today?"

He nodded.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think she's jealous that we're finally close."

Tim winced. "She's not jealous, Dad. She's just worried."

"You and I are getting along fine."

His heart sounded like a hammer in his chest. "You're still trying to change me."

The Admiral sat on the couch, Francesca curled up at his side. "Tim, do you know what I see when I look at you?"

He closed his eyes for a moment as he concentrated on the rapid beating in his chest, and he tried to remember the warning signs of a heart attack.

"You are one of the most talented men I've ever known, and I don't say that because you're my son."

"Thanks Dad."

"But you waste it on being a journeyman law enforcement agent, an area where you don't particularly excel."

"That's not true, Dad."

The admiral shook his head. "Okay, son, what did you do today?"

"Only worked half a day because Mom was here."

"I asked you a question. What did you do?"

"I wrote a report."

"Is it the kind of report that brings in new ideas and advances the mission of the agency?"

"No. It was a regular quarterly report." McGee felt the anxiety rise in his gut and he wondered how dangerous it would be to take 16 mg. of Ativan in one day.

"When I was your age, I was an XO on the largest battle cruiser in the Pacific. I was responsible for 1254 sailors. Do you know what I did today?"

Tim looked down at his nail bitten fingers.

"I worked on a project that will ensure the readiness of this great country for the next twenty years. No exaggeration. This is a fitting way to go out."

"I'm so proud of you, John," Francesca said as she stroked his bald head.

"I might be dying, Tim. This may be my last chance to convince you that you can make a mark on this world."

Tim sighed. "Do you want me to take you to your appointment on Friday? I'm sure Gibbs will let me. I have plenty of leave time."

"Just my point! Why is it so easy for you to get away! Why aren't you more valuable?"

He worked to steady his breathing.

"I will be there, Timothy, in case you have other reports you have to write," Francesca said.

Tim ignored her. "Dad?"

"It means a lot to have you around. I'd like it."

Tim got up. "It's getting late, and you need your rest. I'll meet you at the Oncologist's."

"Think about what I said. I have a spot for you on my team. We're doing important work."

"I gotta go, Dad."

"Think about it, Tim."

Tim barely made it out the door before he was reaching for the bottle of Ativan.

…

"No, I will do it with you."

"You will not, Ziva." Tony sat at his desk picking at a caramel roll. "Pamela stayed until almost 9 p.m. last night helping us fix that report. He needs a spanking, and you are definitely the easy parent when it comes to McGee."

"You will be too rough." She glared at him.

"Do you know how close he is to having to pee in a cup? We gotta shut this down now."

"And Gibbs?"

"Do you want to tell him that we almost sent a report to SecNav written by a junkie?"

"Tony!"

"Shhh! He's coming."

McGee came off the elevator looking like he slept in his clothes. Tony gave Ziva a look. He barely acknowledged them as he headed for his desk.

"How are you feeling, McGee?" Ziva stood.

"Still not sleeping well," he mumbled.

"It was nice to spend time with your mother, though?"

"Yeah."

"She's so lovely…sort of ethereal, you know- delicate but strong."

He looked at her with bloodshot eyes and for the first time, he showed some life. "She's an artist- has the soul and the temperament of one. She taught me to love books and appreciate nature. Penny taught me strength. My mom taught me beauty."

Ziva smiled. "I am counting the hours until our dinner this evening."

"Yeah, me too," Tony said with an edge of impatience. "In the meantime, get your ass in conference room A, McGee."

His eyebrows shot up. "What going on?"

"Am I the senior agent?"

McGee scowled. "I don't know. It's hard to remember. You never remind us."

"Get your sarcastic butt up now!"

McGee sighed and got up. "Alirght Bossman, lead the way.

…

Tony followed him in and shut the door. "You wanna pee in a cup?"

McGee froze.

"That's what's coming. Look at the shaking in your hands. Your eyes are like you just got off a two-day bender. Mistakes are happening, McGee!"

Tim turned. "I told you that I'm struggling with my sleep."

"I don't want to hear the lies!" Tony said pounding the table with the palm of his hand. "You're bad at it! The fact that you're even doing it is an insult to me and the team."

"There's nothing wrong!"

Tony picked up a sheaf of papers. "We conducted 303 investigations in the month of June?" "Our solve rate dropped to 33%?" Tibbs assigned 43 cold cases from June 1st to June 13th?" How's it sounding so far?"

He stared in horror. "You're making this up, right?"

"The report was full of errors. Pamela told Ziva and I, and the three of us were here until 9:30 last night fixing it. It went to SecNav on time by the way."

"You're exaggerating."

"Not a bit. Do you think we were too dumb to work those figures?"

"No."

Tony leaned toward him. "And don't tell me it's not drugs. I have seen it too many times."

Tim sat down. "I have a prescription."

Tony shook his head. "I am trying to help. What do you think Gibbs will do if he finds out? Do you want to spend 28 days in treatment? You want that on your record?"

"Gibbs knows."

"You're telling me half-truths here, and I won't have it! We could get a callout at any moment! If I don't think I can trust you, I won't hesitate to go straight to Vance 'cause I won't be able to live with what happens if you're impaired and I knew it."

McGee stared at his hands for a long moment. "I'm close to him again, but it doesn't feel like it should. I should feel good, right? You felt good when you reconciled with your old man. I remember it."

Tony relaxed into a chair. "My old man has his faults, but he is proud of who I am."

McGee whispered. "Three months in D.C. with me walking him through his treatments, and he still has no clue who I am. He treats me as if I'm a 49 years old man living in my mom's basement, doing pizza delivery two nights a week."

"He's a jerk, Tim."

McGee's head shot up. "Don't do that! He's my dad and he's sick. Don't call him names."

"I'm sorry."

"At least he sees me as someone with potential."

DiNozzo looked at the ceiling. "This is messed up."

"He wishes I was stronger. A few months ago, I would've fought with him about that assessment, but now I feel like he's got a point."

Tony nodded. "You're taking an anti-depressant?"

"Actually, it's an anti-anxiety drug called Ativan. I got it from my general practitioner. He said that if I wanted an anti-depressant, I should to see a psychiatrist, and I knew that I would have to report that to Vance."

"I know this drug."

"How?"

"Baltimore PD. It's a Benzo. You can buy it on the street. How much have you been prescribed?"

"It's none of your business, Tony!"

Tony grabbed his arm. "Look at me. Look at me!"

McGee looked up.

"I'm not playin'. I've seen too much, lost too much. I will take you out of the game before I let you get hurt in the field."

"I'm prescribed 4 mg a day."

"How much are you taking?"

McGee closed his eyes. "Depends on the day."

"More than 6 mg? More than 10 mg?"

Yeah…at times."

Tony shook his head. "You're in trouble, Tim."

"Yeah, you have to take it to Vance. I get it."

DiNozzo put his hand over his mouth and studied him for a long moment. "Can you stop taking them?"

Tim nodded. "Yeah. I was using them as crutch. Never should've started. It was stupid."

"Where are they?"

He pulled the large bottle out of his backpack and gave it to Tony. DiNozzo snorted. "You've been shopping online, my friend."

"Yeah."

"How will I know you won't press "buy" on your shopping cart again?"

"You have my promise. It's all I got, Tony."

Tony softened. "That's always been good enough for me."

"What are you going to tell Gibbs?"

Tony shrugged. "You start looking and acting sharper, and I won't have to tell him anything."

McGee nodded.

"You don't have to do it like this, Tim. We can go see Ducky. Maybe cold turkey isn't such a good idea."

"I haven't been taking them that long. I can do this. I have to do this." Tim got up. "Thanks for giving me a second chance. Tony."

"McGee." Tony started after him, but Tim was already out the door.

….

"Duck, I know you told me to be hands off, but he doesn't look good. Something is wrong with those pills he's taking."

Ducky looked up from a file. "Abby came to me as well. Says his eyes are twitchy."

"You wanted me to trust him, let him work it out, and I've tried."

"He's not on a high dose of the drug, Jethro."

"He's shaky, unfocused, restless, and he does this weird thing where he keeps resting his hand on his heart."

Ducky took off his glasses. "Possible tachycardia. Oh dear, it sounds like he might be taking more than prescribed."

"It's his son of a bitch father. Man beats him into the ground verbally all the time."

"And I told you that if you get involved, it'll backfire. Timothy is finally getting the attention he has long craved from the man."

"I'm not going to stay quiet another minute, Ducky."

"We have the dinner with his mother in a few hours. Let me take a look at him then."

"And I'm supposed to just wait."

"Yes Jethro. Patience is a virtue. Come over and look at this. I have three files in the last two years that show curiously similar autopsy findings."

Gibbs frowned and went over to look at Ducky's files.

….

Ziva walked into the lab and stopped short. "Look at you!"

Abby spun around in a black and white striped taffeta tea length dress with a sweetheart neckline and an emerald green sash. "Do you like it?"

"It's gorgeous!" Ziva walked around her and took in the black pumps and single ponytail. "Abby, you will be the most beautiful woman in the restaurant."

She grinned wide and hugged Ziva. "Do you think she'll like me?"

"Of course she will!" Ziva patted her cheek. "Tell me, my sister. Why is this so important to you?"

"It's McGee," she shrugged.

"Yes, it's McGee, but what does that mean?"

Abby looked into her eyes. "He's special."

"You're as evasive as Tony."

Abby leaned over and whispered into Ziva's ear. "It's McGee."

Ziva took her face in her hands. "One day you will have to come to terms with what that means."

Abby bit her lip. "He sees me as eccentric- a character. He's grown. He's not enamored with me like he was when he was younger."

"Neither of you see what's right in front of you."

"What does that mean?"

"You're not the only one that can play games, my dear. You figure it out." With a flip of her head, Ziva marched out of the lab. Abby thought for a moment, shook her head, and then went in search of a mirror to check her lipstick.

…

McGee crouched in a bathroom stall and tried to settle his breathing, his phone in one hand. It had been 8 hours since Tony took his pills away from him. His heart was beating out of his chest, and the sweat beaded on his face and neck.

The bathroom door opened. "McGee? You in here?"

Tim swallowed. "Just two, Tony. Just enough to get me through this dinner."

"Come out of the stall."

McGee unfolded his long legs and stepped out. Tony shook his head and wet a handful of paper towels. "You look like hell."

"Two, Tony. Two. Do not make me ruin this dinner for my mother."

"We need Ducky."

McGee shook his head. "I don't want all that. Let me get through the dinner. Then I'll go home and sweat it out of me."

Tony shook his head as McGee toweled off his face and then reached into his shirt. "This dinner is important, but tomorrow, you and I talk to Ducky and Gibbs and we're not holding anything back."

McGee nodded. "How did this happen?"

"You were stupid, Tim. We were there for you and you didn't let us help."

"But he's sick and he needs me. The pills help me handle the stress."

"Yeah. He needs you so much he might end up swallowing you whole. How does that sound?"

"Pills, Tony. Pills."

Tony sighed and shook out two of them. "This is it. We're talking to Ducky before anything more."

McGee nodded as he swallowed them.

…

It was a nice open air restaurant near the river and the night was cooler than usual. Patty McGee's wavy hair blew in the wind and she did little to control it. Gibbs stood in a doorway and watched her greet his team. There was something about her that reminded him of home, and he wondered if it had been a good idea for him to come at all.

He watched Abby approach Patty as awkward as a foal. Patty spotted her and greeted her, arms wide. He couldn't hear the words, but he watched as she admired Abby in all her glory. His heart swelled as Abby ran up and hugged her fiercely. Tony and Ziva laughed at Abby's exuberance.

"I've never seen Abby look like that."

Gibbs turned to McGee standing next to him. "She was really excited to meet your mom."

"I've been screwing up, Boss."

Gibbs nodded. "Let's fix it before it gets worse."

"Tony and I would like to meet with you and Ducky in the morning."

Gibbs looked him over closely. "You can wait that long?"

McGee nodded. "I'm strong."

"Good."

"Dad's got an Oncologist appointment late morning. If we're not called out, I was wondering if I could take a couple of hours of lost time."

Gibbs stiffened. His antipathy for the admiral had only grown with time, but it was important that Tim saw as little of it as possible. "Depends if we get a callout."

"Of course."

"Tim," Gibbs said. "I have only ever wanted you to be the best version of you. That version is as amazing as any man I've ever known."

McGee nodded. "I'm going to get back to my best, Boss. Don't you worry."

He headed toward his mother, and Gibbs shook his head. That wasn't the message he was trying to convey.

…..

He stayed until the end, enjoying the laughter and stories. The team was inspired by the presence of a mother, and the evening had been filled with stories of growing up. Tony's boarding school stories left them laughing 'til they cried, and Ziva's stories of her Ema were touching and sweet. Tim seemed especially quiet as he sat next to his mother, and Gibbs watched him closely. He was still holding back and Gibbs was going to push him in the morning until they knew exactly what he needed.

He leaned over the railing and enjoyed the cool evening air as people said their good-byes. He wasn't surprised when she joined him. "Did you have a good time, Jethro?"

"I haven't apologized more twice in the last ten years and here I find myself wanting to do it twice in as many days."

She nodded. "You were hard on me, but I needed it."

"I'm just worried for him."

"John demands a lot, and we've all spent too much time accommodating him."

"He may not be my son, but he is family. I will do what it takes to protect him."

She put her hand over his. "He needs you to counteract the expectations his father places on him. I don't know where he'd be without you."

Gibbs' breath caught until she moved her hand away. "I'm going to speak with him in the morning."

She nodded and took a step away from him. "Ah…thank you for coming. Lovely evening."

"Tim going to take you home?"

She shook her head. "He…wasn't feeling well. I told him I could easily GPS Penny's house from here."

…..

He sat in his car and watched her get ready to leave. Leroy Jethro Gibbs was not on a first name basis with his emotions. Yet he felt something deep in his gut whenever she was around. It wan't as base as lust or as sweet as nostalgia. Rather, it was like an intimacy a person has with an old friend. He felt like she was familiar and good, and it took him a place both profound and unsettling.

She started up her car and pulled out. Across the street, a car waited until she passed and then it eased in behind her. It felt too calculated, too rehearsed. He put his car into drive and followed.

…

McGee slept for minutes at a time drenched in sweat. The anxiety in his gut was consuming, and he spent much of the night praying for relief. There were times when he thought about calling Tony or Gibbs, but calling for help would signal weakness. He was determined to be worthy of his team and his father. There were even moments that night when he could convince himself that he could successfully hide this from his father.

Then the vomiting and nausea started, bringing his misery to new levels. He dragged himself through a shower at 5 a.m. He made his way into the kitchen for some water and woke up on the floor. For a few moments, he lay there trying to reason how he ended up there. The only evidence of the fall came from a knot on his temple. He rested his hand on his chest and concentrated on the erratic dance his heart was doing.

He thought about calling Ducky and asking him to come over, but the humiliation of being found on the floor like a dead fish stopped him. He pulled himself to his feet and stumbled into the bedroom, settling for a pair of jeans he found on the floor and a t-shirt from a drawer. There was no plan beyond the next task. Going to work made sense in a primitive sort of way and so he went.

Driving was foolhardy, but he stayed hunched over and concentrated on the pre-rush hour road. A weird feeling beyond the anxiety and the nausea took hold on the freeway, and he looked for a place to exit. His vision started to dim, and he turned wildly, determined not to pass out on the road. There was no time to right the car as it careened into a side rail.

…..

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I can't seem to get a handle on my feelings about this story. It is at once fascinating and boring to me. Haven't been that ambiguous about a story in a long time. Still, I have enough passion for it to keep going. Thanks to those of you following along. Sheila

A Mediocre Man

Chapter 3

He woke with a start and found her sitting in a chair across the room staring at him. "I made coffee."

He sat up and blinked, running his fingers through his hair. She handed him a cup and sat back down. "You didn't need to stay."

"You were being followed," he said as he sipped on the cup. Then he remembered his phone and reached for it. "They still haven't gotten back to me with an ID on the plate."

She shrugged. "Whoever it was broke off before I got to Penny's."

"You were being followed. You aren't just a little curious about that?"

"I'm married to a powerful man, Jethro. It was probably someone from the Navy because of one of John's projects. A lot of his stuff is national security sensitive."

Gibbs rubbed at his stubble on his chin. "You wouldn't happen to have a razor?"

She smiled. "The one I use on my legs. It's in the shower."

Gibbs groaned as he got off the couch. "Thanks."

"I called Tim a few minutes ago. He's not answering."

"He's probably on the road. I'm meeting with him in about an hour." He disappeared into the bathroom.

"Can I be there?"

Gibbs appeared in the doorway working the razor. "You're coming along because I don't know who's tracking you and I don't trust your husband."

"That's not a decision you get to make for me."

"Are you the mother of one of my team members? Yes. Are you a Navy dependent? Yes. Two for two. Therefore, your safety is my responsibility. If the admiral wants to cop to having you followed- fine. You can come back here and let him stalk you to his heart's content. Deal?"

She rolled her eyes. "You are a real treat in the morning, Jethro Gibbs."

…..

"Mr. McGee! Mr. McGee! Can you hear me?"

Tim found himself staring into blinding light.

"Follow my finger, Mr. McGee." A hand blocked some of the light. He tried to sit up but he was trapped on all sides. Gibbs trained him for this. He struggled to find a weak spot.

"Mr. McGee! Stop fighting us! You're safe now! You're at D.C. General. You were in a car accident. Do you remember that?"

He tried to shake his head but it immobilized. "Don't move. Just answer my questions. Do you remember the accident?"

Tim blinked for a moment. "I was trying to get off the road."

"Can you tell me why?"

"Worried I was going to pass out."

"Are you sick, Mr. McGee?"

Tim concentrated into the light. "Cold turkey."

"Off of what? You have significant tachycardia. What were you taking?"

"Ativan." The room started to come in focus, and he realized that there were several people peering down at him.

"When did you stop taking the Ativan?"

"Yesterday."

The faces looked puzzled. "How much were you taking daily?"

"I was prescribed 4 mg."

"How much were you taking, Mr. McGee?"

Tim worked his bruised mouth. "On Tuesday, I took 14 mg. and on Wednesday, I took 18."

"How long were you taking Ativan above prescription strength?"

Tim thought. "Maybe 6 weeks."

A woman in a green cap shook her head. "That's some serious abuse, Mr. McGee. When you're taking that much, you can't stop taking it all at once."

"No more drugs."

"We're going to have to give you some Valium. Your body needs to wean itself off the Ativan."

"No!"

"Mr. McGee, listen to me. You don't have a choice. Your body is in serious distress from the tachycardia and from the accident. You need the Valium. You have some serious contusions and a possible concussion but no serious injuries. The patrol officer told me witnesses saw the car roll twice. People don't walk away from that. As far as I'm concerned, you are having a very good day."

McGee didn't respond.

"We should contact someone for you."

"No."

"Mr. McGee, you're going to need some help. Support is very important for someone who is detoxing."

"No."

"I suspect people are going to be looking for you."

He closed his eyes.

"Is someone going to be worried?"

"Yes," he whispered.

"Give me a phone number."

…

The Valium left him in a fog, and he was grateful that the nurses and doctors were gone from his room. Despair had settled in him with the realization that he could no longer control his life. He would have to face people with his failure and feel their disappointment. It left him numb.

He drifted in and out of sleep, the only relief coming from his heart settling back into its normal rhythm. A nurse came in with some food, but he ignored it. They wheeled him out for a CAT scan, and a doctor talked to him, but he digested none of it. The shame that enveloped him felt like a prison.

Sometime in the afternoon, he opened his eyes and found Gibbs sitting there like a statue. He tried to lift his head, but found his neck was still constrained by a C collar. "Boss?"

Gibbs' eyes studied him but he said nothing.

"Mom?"

"She's out in the lobby. She knows you well. Thinks it'll be too hard for you to see her right now."

McGee closed his eyes.

"I've seen your car and talked to the State Patrol. It's a twisted tin can. They're shaking heads over the fact that you can still breathe."

McGee's throat got thick and he looked away.

"I've talked to the families of victims for 20 years, and it didn't prepare me for what I felt when I saw that car. I had to walk away from it. Ziva cried. And Tony was a mess…I got the whole sad tale out of him about how he took your pills and the two of you planned to confess all. I chewed him out bad. Ducky and I should've been in on this from the beginning. Hell, it never should've happened at all." Gibbs stopped as the anger in his voice started to rise.

"Then I realized that this is my fault. I'm the one who despises weakness. You felt like you had to hide that from me. You told me about the medication, but you couldn't talk to me when the need grew and you started to abuse the pills. I saw that things weren't right, but I kept my distance. Wanted to give you space with your father. Felt it wasn't my place. Tony had to be the one to step in when I should've been the one. Even then, you wake up this morning, pass out on the floor, and still get behind the wheel of a car."

McGee's chin trembled.

"Tim, I'm trying to be careful here. The doc told us how hard this withdrawal is going to be. She also told us that Ativan withdrawal can cause some deep depression. God knows I don't want to make things worse."

"I deserve it," he whispered.

Gibbs rubbed his face. "No, you don't. You've been going through a lot, and you never give yourself a break. I know he wants you to be someone you're not. I know that's gotta be hard."

"Remember when you started talking to your dad. It was hard, wasn't it?"

Gibbs nodded.

"But you knew how important it was so you kept trying."

"Yeah, I did."

"He finally needs me, Boss."

He sighed. "Yeah, I just wished he was easier on you."

"He's remarkable and I'm not. It stings for him and it's a constant reminder for me that-"

"Stop! Don't do that. You're not less than him in any way except arrogance and title."

"We could've been three generations of admirals. Picture it."

"In my mind, you merely saved the world from another pompous ass."

"What's going to happen to my job, Boss?"

"You were driving impaired, but Ativan has a short half life. There wasn't enough left in you during the drug screen. The laws don't account for a withdrawal reaction. You're not going to be charged, but you're also not going to be in the field until you are fully weaned from this drug. Plus, you need to get your stress under control. You're special, McGee- irreplaceable even, but I won't have you at your desk until you get a handle on this."

McGee nodded, blinking away tears.

"Ducky says we go slow as we don't overwhelm the anxiety. Is there anyone else you want to see today?"

"I probably should see-"

"What the hell happened?!"

Gibbs and McGee turned to find Admiral McGee in the doorway. "How did I end up being the last to know that my son almost got killed?!"

Gibbs stood. "Take it easy, Admiral."

"Not a damn chance! I want a few words with my son!"

"Not like this."

"Dad," Tim said. "I screwed up. I'm really sorry."

"You almost got killed! And then I hear you've been taking drugs. What the hell!?"

"Dad, it was only for a few months."

"Just like your mother. What's next? A suicide attempt!"

"This is neither the time nor the place, Admiral!" Gibbs got between McGee and his son. "I mean it!"

The admiral turned on Gibbs. "You never stop! It is not your place to be here!"

"Dad!"

The door opened and Patty McGee was there. "That's enough, John. You're angry at me! Leave him alone!"

John McGee shook his head. "Hey Tim, do you want to know that your mom was doing while you were fighting for your life? Or should I say, who she was doing?"

"Don't you dare, John!"

"She and your boss were shacking up. I've got the proof."

She turned to Gibbs. "I told you he was probably having me followed."

Tim's heart woke in his chest. "What! I don't understand."

"Tim, it's not true!" Patty said."

"The two of you spent the night together, Tricia. It's sick!"

Gibbs ran the admiral into the wall, grabbing him by the collar. "That's enough! She was being followed and I was concerned. I slept on the couch!"

"Are you sure? Your mom's had a busy year."

Gibbs stared into his eyes. "You need to go."

"Dad! Boss, please don't hurt him! Please!" McGee struggled to climb out of bed.

"Stop, Tim!" Patty was there, pushing him back in the bed.

Then Ducky was in the room puffed up with all the authority his years carried. "Out! All of you! Now!"

McGee started to hyperventilate and Ducky took over. "Get a nurse and shut the door behind you! Now!"

…..

Ducky came out of the room half an hour later. The waiting room was silent. The Admiral and his girlfriend occupied one end of the waiting room and the team on the other. Gibbs stood. "Is he okay?"

"He's sedated. Timothy's a strong man, but he is in the depths of a detox process. You can't bring stress into that room."

"I don't want him to have any misconceptions, Duck."

"He trusts what you say."

"I want to see him," John McGee said.

"Please John!" Patty said, her eyes red.

"I'm not the enemy, Tricia!"

"He can't handle either of us right now."

"Don't you dare keep him from me!"

"Enough!" Gibbs turned to Ducky. "What does he need?"

"It's going to take a few days for him to finish his detox. Those days need to be quiet ones. No stress."

Patty nodded. "I'll stay away, John, as long as you do as well. Please. He needs a break."

"We're his family."

"And we're hurting him. Let's go to our respective corners and give him a rest."

"You all see me as the problem and I'm not. I have his best interest in mind."

Patty sighed. "He's 35 year old. We don't have a right to his best interest anymore. They are his choices, not ours. You have to let go."

"Like you did to me."

"Please don't go there, John. I'm going back to Penny's because I know that his team will watch over him. I beg of you to do the same."

He pointed a finger. "Don't ever question my love for him."

"I wouldn't."

"Alright, I'll do it."

"And please stop having me followed, John. You can have whatever terms you want in the divorce. I'll sign anything."

He stared at her long and hard. Then he grabbed his coat and his girlfriend and left.

…..

Patty McGee looked down at her burger and fries, but had little interest in eating.

"Come on. You haven't had anything to eat today. It's no good to get yourself sick." Gibbs gestured with his knife.

"He was all bruised up."

'He's going to be fine."

"You weren't there when he was sixteen and crashed his first car. He almost died. He was in a coma, Jethro. It was horrible. John was in the Indian Ocean at the time. It took him 36 hours to get home. I remember when he showed up, red-eyed and scared. He sat at Tim's bedside without a break until he woke."

"It brought back memories."

"John is impossible. He always has been, but he loves our boy with all of his heart."

"At what cost, Patty?"

She sighed and pushed her plate away. "It's easy to make him the villain. He plays the part so well, but it's more complicated than that. The two of you are like a couple of bulls every time you're in a room together."

"That's true," he said, eating fries off her plate.

"It hasn't always been John's world. His father, Nelson, was even worse than he is. Penny was a loving mother when she was around, but she was always seeking her next big challenge. I haven't been the easiest wife. I could never organize these events with wives very well. I'm a dreamer, an artist: not a politician. An admiral's wife's job is to elevate his career, and I hated garden parties. He had to compensate for me."

He shrugged. "I still don't feel sorry for him."

She stared at the table for a long time. "Tim doesn't know this. It happened about three years ago. I was depressed, but I wasn't taking my medication. John was going to be home in a week, and I realized I didn't want to see him. It was a stunning revelation. My kids were gone and I'd grown distant with Sarah. Tim hadn't been home in years, and the only person left in my immediate life was someone I didn't care to see. The depression was deeper than I understood. I took pills- a lot of them."

She paused, sucking in breath. "I got lucky. I'd washed them down with alcohol and threw up a good portion of them before I passed out. My housekeeper found me unconscious the next morning. John came home and took over. He gave up a great opportunity in Washington to stay home and help me get back on track. I got back on anti-depressants and went to therapy. He was very patient with me."

"Then why aren't you still with him?"

She sighed. "Getting well meant recognizing that I couldn't live under his control anymore. He'd stolen any chance I had at an identity. He begged me to stay, but I couldn't survive like that anymore. Losing me was not something he wanted. He's suffered too, Jethro."

"Patty, I've had four marriages, ruined three of them. All of those women moved on, and he'll survive too."

"Tim doesn't know about the overdose, Jethro."

He nodded. "He's not going to hear about it from me."

She couldn't meet his eyes.

"Oh boy, now I know where he gets it. When are you going to forgive yourself?"

"Should I? Can you imagine how unfair it would've been to my children?"

He shook his head. "You have to forgive yourself just like Tim has to forgive himself for what happened today."

"Yeah. I didn't think about it like that." She nodded.

Gibbs' phone rang. "Yeah…That makes no sense. You need to dig deeper…Put the file on my desk and I'll look at it in the morning."

Patty dug for her wallet, but Gibbs put up a hand. "It's on me."

"Thanks for the talk." She started to get up.

"I'm afraid that it's not over. The car trailing you last night is not with the Navy. The plates are registered to a certain individual whom I thought was incarcerated. Until we figure out what's going on, you're not staying alone."

"Then how did John know you stayed at Penny's last night?"

"We'll find out in the morning. In the meantime, you're going to pack a bag and I'm going to take you somewhere else."

She shook her head. "I am not staying at your place."

"No," he smiled. "I think you and I have sparked enough scandal. I'll call Ziva. You can bunk with her."

…..

The Valium helped to a point, but it couldn't stave the waves of anxiety that the withdrawal produced. Images of Gibbs pushing his father up against the wall and his mother in tears only made things worse. The aches and chills surprised him. He didn't realize that a true dependence could be fostered in a few, short months.

Ducky was there a lot, and he told stories of his childhood in Scotland, stories McGee had never heard despite Ducky's reputation as a prodigious storyteller. Many of the stories were of Ducky's mistakes and redemption. It soothed him some to think that such an urbane man could have had so many cock-ups, as he called them.

Other times it was Abby. This Abby was different than the frenetic woman in the lab. She laid her head on the bed next to his and looked into his eyes, reliving their adventures in the lab together. Her stories cast him as the hero, often in conflict with his own memories of those events.

He liked her husky voice so close to his ear and the faint scent of cinnamon of her skin. Ducky came to relieve her once and she'd argued with him at the door. He couldn't deny what he felt when she was the one who returned to his bedside. She'd leaned over and whispered, "I want to prove to you that I can be who you need."

The comment confused him. She'd always been exactly whom he needed.

…

Francesca seated them both in the admiral's suite, and then went in search of the admiral. It was 8 a.m. but she looked like she was ready for an evening on the town. DiNozzo started to smile in admiration until he caught Vance's disapproving look.

The admiral came out in full dress and sighed. "I would expect Gibbs to apologize for himself in person. Sending the director and a lackey doesn't sit right with me."

Tony raised a brow and watched the unflappable Vance raise an eyebrow. "I'm afraid that I do not bring apologies with me. What happened in the hospital was not agency business. We're here with some questions."

"Questions?" He snorted. "I have questions! You don't think it's agency business for one of your agents to start cavorting with the wife of an admiral?"

Tony tried to imagine the idea of Gibbs cavorting, and ended up biting the inside of his lip.

"Admiral, Gibbs wouldn't even be able to use the word, 'cavort' in a sentence, let alone act it out in real life."

McGee glared. "What can I do for you?"

"Have you been in contact with Carlton Mane?"

"My former Lieutenant? He's out on bail waiting on an appeal."

"Yes, we know that. In fact, you're the one who bailed him out. My question again- Are you currently in contact with Carlton Mane?"

"My project is too sensitive for me to have contact with someone who has been dishonorably discharged. I have not been in contact with him lately."

"Yet you knew that Gibbs stayed at your mother's house last night."

He shook his head. "I'm lost. Seriously. I don't know what you're after."

"Admiral, how did you know that Gibbs stayed at your mother's house?"

"Is this a joke?"

Tony watched the exchange between Vance and McGee with the intensity of a boxing fan.

"Admiral, you assured SecNav that the details of this project were secure. Contact with Mane would jeopardize that."

"I have not had contact with Mane!"

Vance looked at DiNozzo who stood. "Two nights ago, Agent Gibbs followed a car who was following your wife. He stayed at your mother's house to ensure her safety. Turns out the car was registered to Mane. Your former aide was following your wife."

"Really? This is confirmed?"

"Yes. Special Agent Gibbs got a copy of the plate."

The admiral looked at the ground. "I imagine that Carlton wanted a few minutes with Tricia. She knew him well. He often spent holidays at our home. She was quite fond of him. I'm sure he was looking for her support."

"Admiral, your former aide murdered a man because he was going to report your illness. That's about as cold blooded as it gets. Still, you bail him out. Then he begins stalking your wife, and you show little concern." Vance said. "I'm confused."

"Mane was under pressure. I was constantly pushing him. His…loyalty to me was extreme. The night I came back to the cabin and told him that word of my illness was going to be reported...To say that I was upset would have been a great understatement of my reaction. He felt compelled to act. It was inappropriate, but he felt a greater good would be served by my work at the White House."

Tony frowned. "Did you just say that it was inappropriate for Mane to kill a man? Haber was a good Navy officer. He had family. He was following procedure. Inappropriate does even begin to describe what Mane did."

Admiral McGee reddened. "Do not lecture me! He did wrong, but I do not abandon one of my own. He sacrificed everything for me."

Vance cocked his head. "You said that you were no longer in touch with Mane."

McGee sighed. "I knew that I was going to have to cut ties with him. This project is too sensitive, and his presence in my life would be unseemly. I met with him and explained this. He struggled with it. Felt that I could get him back in a uniform. I told him that was never going to happen. The Navy was his life, and he felt abandoned by me."

"Has he tried to reconnect?"

"Not in the last month. Is that all?"

"How did you know that Gibbs spent the night at your mother's house if you weren't in contact with Mane?"

The admiral sighed. "Charlie Weaver. Retired guy. He lives next door to my mom's place. Called him the day that Tricia flew in and offered him $500 to keep me updated on her comings, goings, and visitors. He loves to spy. Caught Gibbs coming and going."

Vance stood up. "DiNozzo, check this guy out. Also, I want you to stay with the admiral until we locate Mane and have a little talk."

"Absolutely not, Vance! I won't have it."

"Admiral, these orders come directly from SecNav. I need to guarantee the security of your current project. Nobody wants Mane anywhere near this."

Vance left and DiNozzo looked up at the admiral. "Where's the mini bar?"

Francesca appeared in the room and frowned. "Who is this?"

Tony jumped to his feet and extended his hand. "Very Special Agent DiNozzo, NCIS, at your service."

She offered a limp hand. "You're here to guard? They usually stand outside the suite."

"I'm not here to guard anyone."

"He's a spy," John McGee said dismissively. "Apparently my loyalty is in question. Or is this more strong arming by Special Agent Gibbs?"

"Think what you want, Admiral," Tony said walking past him in search of the kitchen. "I'm hungry. Nuts? Crackers? Cheese? I'm not picky."

…..

Gibbs stood at the doorway for a long moment. Abby was speaking to McGee in whispers as he lay curled up on his side. He suspected he should wait, but he was haunted by what had gone on in McGee's room the day previous.

Abby caught sight of him and sat up. "Hey Gibbs."

McGee turned to face the door, his face a mass of bruises, but said nothing.

"Abbs, can I have a minute?"

She nodded. "No stress, okay?"

Gibbs nodded. It was nice to see her being so calm and soothing. He waited until she left before approaching the bed. "Hey Tim, how are you doing?"

McGee sighed. "I'm a drug addict."

"Maybe, you are, Tim. I really don't know much about these things. I'm only interested in seeing you get better."

He closed his eyes.

"I want to apologize for what happened in your room yesterday."

McGee's eyes blinked open. "You don't do that."

"Yeah, well it's turning into a real habit these days. I need you to know that I have not had a relationship with your mom."

"Women like you, Boss."

One corner of his mouth turned up. "Yeah, well they tend to get over that pretty quick."

"My mom is in a…vulnerable place."

Gibbs nodded. "I understand and respect that."

"Why did you stay at Penny's?"

"Someone was following her. Turns out it was Carlton Mane."

He rose up on one shaky elbow. "I don't understand. He's supposed to be in prison."

"Yeah, we thought he pleaded guilty, but apparently he didn't. He's out on bail waiting on a appeal right now."

"Who would bail him out?"

Gibbs ignored the question. "He was following your mom."

"Why?"

"Well, as soon as I finish here, I'm going to go find out."

"Keep that killer away from my mom."

"I promise."

McGee nodded. "I knew you wouldn't hurt her."

"Thanks."

"I know you're mad at my dad. He's pretty awful sometimes, but he cares. I know he does."

"He was upsetting you with things that weren't true, and I snapped. I pushed him up against the wall and it was the wrong way to handle it."

"Maybe if he wasn't so sick. I keep thinking that this would all be easier if he wasn't so sick."

"Yeah. Well, you know him better than I do. I gotta go, Tim. You do whatever the doctors tell you to do."

"I'm sorry, Boss."

"Just get better. That's all I need." Gibbs slipped out of the room before Tim could respond.

….

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

14

14

A/N: The story moves forward. Reviews are slow, but the ones I am getting are rich and thoughtful. I appreciate you all very much. Sheila

A Mediocre Man

Chapter 4

"I'm going to go see my son," announced Admiral McGee as he walked into the living room of the suite.

Tony looked up from his magazine. "Give it another day."

"I'm not asking you, DiNozzo."

Tony folded it close. "Oh, yes you are. If you weren't, you wouldn't have said anything at all. And I'm telling you to wait another day."

"You think you know him, don't you?"

Tony nodded. "I know him as well as I know myself. 60 to 80 hours a week for the last ten years."

The admiral snorted. "You're the one who harassed him endlessly when he started."

"Yup."

"And you're telling me that the two of you are friends now?" The admiral took a seat across from him.

"Not friends. We're family, Admiral."

The older man sighed. "Yeah, that's what he says too."

DiNozzo was surprised by the capitulation. "We've been through a lot together."

"He and I have too."

"I don't understand what you're saying."

"I push him because I want him ready for when I'm gone."

"Begging your pardon, but you haven't been there in a while and he's managed just fine."

"Really? He's in a hospital detoxing from drugs."

Tony stood. "And why do you think that is?"

"Everything is not my fault!"

Tony shook his head. "I'm not Navy and I'm not your son. Yelling at me doesn't get you anywhere."

"You'll respect the uniform!"

"Wouldn't you rather I respected the man wearing it?"

McGee pounded the coffee table. "He's not living up to his potential!"

"I don't think you understand what he does. You seem to think he's just a regular Navy cop. You don't seem to understand that he's the best of the best. My current nightmare is that he'll get offered a team before I do. He's that good."

"He could be doing so much more."

"What does that mean? What has more meaning than catching criminals and bringing justice to grieving families?"

McGee went over to the bar and poured a scotch. He hesitated and then poured another. "It's not remarkable. There is close to a million men and women doing this work in the U.S. I accept that he's good at it, but he's special and I want that to shine."

McGee handed Tony a scotch. Tony put it on the table in front of him and ignored it. "I understand that listening for you is a lost art. I won't kick a brick wall."

McGee showed the hint of a smile. "Smart."

"He's a lot like you, Admiral. Brilliant and stubborn. He's going to live his life his way, not yours. The question comes down to whether or not all of this pushing is worth the price of losing him."

He snorted. "Our bond is stronger than ever."

"You're sick now and, because of that, he protects you. He did that by losing his voice in your relationship. Stuffing all of that emotion was too much for him. Pills were required to manage those emotions. It got out of hand."

The admiral took a drink. "So we're back to blaming me."

"Facts, Admiral. I'm relaying facts."

The admiral looked away.

"He's the best man I know and he contributes greatly to the world around him. What more could any decent parent possibly want for their child?" Tony put up a hand. "It's a rhetorical question, Admiral- one you should spend some time with."

….

McGee pulled the blanket tightly around his body. He sat curled up in a chair by the window. It was too dark to see much but the lights of cars on the highway. It was past visiting hours, and he'd pushed Abby to go home. Then he went into the bathroom, and vomited until there was nothing left in his gut but bile.

Behind him he heard the door open slowly. He didn't either have the energy for a visitor or patience enough for a nurse. He kept his eyes fixed on the city lights.

"You should be in bed."

He relaxed at Ducky's soft voice. The old man was always so patient.

"I have a lot of thinking to do, Ducky."

Ducky pulled a chair up next to his. "You really don't, you know. Right now, you focus on getting healthy. The rest will come in time."

"Don't be so kind. You've got to be mad at me. Admit it."

He chuckled. "I'd like to be. I certainly have the right, but you're already too mad at yourself. There's no room for me."

McGee sighed. "What do I do?"

"You let this happen the way it's supposed to happen."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, I'm guessing you're feeling miserable."

McGee nodded.

"You have a couple more days of that. Then you start treatment."

McGee stiffened.

"I talked to your doctor and outpatient should do just fine."

"I want to go back to work."

"Give it a couple of weeks, and then we'll talk."

He shook his head. "No! I want to go home and I want to go back to work, Ducky!"

Ducky smiled. "Now, I am starting to see the famous McGee impatience. Shades of the admiral, I suspect."

"My dad can get me out of here."

"Don't you dare!" Ducky wagged a finger. "You take care of this properly. It happened for a reason, you know."

He looked away.

"Timothy, give this some time."

McGee yawned. "I'm tired."

"We're with you, Timothy, all the way as long as you don't run from this. Do you understand?"

He searched the older man's eyes. "Yeah, I understand."

…

Gibbs watched the man run the last quarter mile around the ravine. He was all muscle as he rounded the last curve, and when he spotted Gibbs, he picked up his speed. It was an impressive show of power. Gibbs looked back at Ziva and nodded. She knew to stay back and let him take care of this.

Lieutenant Mane slowed as he ran by Gibbs and stopped. He took a moment to bend and stretch before he turned and acknowledged him. "What can I do for you, Special Agent Gibbs?"

"You look like you're running a 7 minute mile."

"Actually, I average 6:46 a mile."

"Didn't expect to see you outside of a prison."

Mane snorted. "Seriously? You follow up on all of your cases like this?"

"I don't like seeing guilty men on the streets."

"I'm out on bail- paid for by Admiral McGee. My case is in appeal and the admiral is supporting me."

"I'm aware."

"So what's your problem?"

"You were following Patty McGee."

"Tricia? How is that your business?"

"She's a friend of mine, and she doesn't need to be caught up in your trouble."

"That would not be your decision."

Gibbs walked up into Mane's space. The fact that the man had two inches and thirty lbs. of muscle on him didn't slow him. "I know who you are and what you're capable of. I am not comfortable with you having contact with her. Her son is not comfortable with you having contact with her. It needs to stop."

Mane glared at him. "How you going back that up, Gibbs?"

"A stalking charge would be enough to get your bail revoked. You can do your exercise routine in the prison yard. In fact, I would prefer that."

"I'm not stalking her. I want to talk with her about being a character witness at my trial. You don't have the right to stand in my way."

Gibbs shook his head. "Your lawyer can contact her."

Mane picked up a towel from his gear bag and wiped the sweat off his neck and shoulders. "I want to talk to her."

Gibbs narrowed his eyes. "You killed a man because you wanted a better job. A man like that is capable of anything."

Mane studied him for a moment. "Okay. I don't need trouble. My lawyer will talk to her."

"That was way too easy."

"What do you want, man? I'll leave her alone." Mane threw his towel into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He started off and then turned, pointing his finger. "I have rights! You keep harassing me and you'll be the one in a corner, Gibbs!"

Gibbs watched him drive off. Ziva came up behind him. "That man has no soul."

"I want to know everything about him, Ziva."

Ziva nodded and pulled out her phone.

….

Tim opened his eyes to the light of midmorning. It had been a long night of tossing and turning in the bed, and the hospital sheets were damp from his exertions.

"You need a shower, McNasty."

He turned his head and found Tony slumped in a chair. "Hey."

"How you feeling?"

"Exhausted."

"I wish we would've gone to Gibbs the minute you gave me those pills."

McGee nodded. "I hear he took you to the woodshed."

Tony sighed. "I deserved it."

"It was all my fault."

"But I was the one thinking straight. You were struggling, and I should've just done the right thing."

McGee sat up and ran fingers through his hair. Tony made a face. "Seriously. You've sweat out every toxin your body has ever ingested and now you smell like a moldy basement. Take a shower, dude."

"Hey, if you don't want to be here, that's fine with me."

"The old man wants to visit."

Tim stopped mid stretch and turned to him. "Dad?"

"I'm the advance team. Spent some time with him yesterday. He's eager to get in here and tell you how to fix this so you can fulfill his dreams of world domination."

"How is he? Did he get his chemo?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "I have no doubt that someone administered the poison."

"Tony."

"He looks fine. The Paraguayan Princess is watching him like a hawk."

"I don't like her."

"She's addicted to power. She'll leave him as soon as he retires."

"That's what I worry about."

Tony chuckled. "Timmy, I think it will be a good lesson for him. He should be dumped by someone as addicted to power as he is."

Tim closed his eyes. "Does everyone have to hate him?"

"Having spent time with him, I actually do not hate him."

"Really?"

"You know I was raised by a man who had very few expectations of me. It would've required him paying more attention than he did. Your father has too many. Somewhere in the middle exists the perfect father, I suppose."

"Your dad loves you, Tony."

Tony nodded. "It took me awhile to see that. When I was a kid, I used to imagine that if we were on a ship and we had to get to the lifeboats, I was sure that my father would be one of the first ones on, but I was never sure that he'd think to look back and see if I'd made it as well. After spending the afternoon with your father, I realized something. If he was in that scenario, he wouldn't even need a lifeboat, he'd be out there treading water, and somehow balancing you on his shoulders at the same time. His love is flawed but it's fierce."

"Wow!" Tim blinked. "That's some analogy."

"The fear with a father like that is that he'll never stop trying to shape you. You have to run to keep from being suffocated."

"Tony, you have to trust that I can handle him."

"Really? Where are you? You were eating benzos like they were M&M's just a few days ago."

Tim looked down at his bed for a long moment. "God, I do smell bad. When is he coming? Is there something besides this awful nightgown to wear? Find me something, Tony."

He tumbled off the bed, and lurched toward the bathroom. Tony sat back and shook his head.

….

Patty McGee strolled into the bullpen. "This is not going to work, Jethro. You can't just deposit me at Ziva's apartment because you feel like it. I have a life."

Gibbs looked up. "You still not curious about who was following you? Maybe, it's because you already knew."

She blew out air. "I didn't that night. Carlton called me last night said that he'd just wanted to talk. I've known him since he was a midshipman breaking school records at Annapolis. He caught John's eye early. I owe him a chance to explain what happened."

Gibbs studied her. "What did he tell you about the murder?"

She sat down in Tim's chair. "It was a misunderstanding. He said that's the reason John is helping him with it. He said there was a storm, and he meant to talk to this doctor, and the ship was turbulent and things got out of hand."

Gibbs took a deep breath and pulled a file out of his drawer. "Follow me."

She followed him into a conference room. He sat down beside her and opened a file. "These things are on computer these days, but I still need a paper copy. I want you to see the case for itself."

He started pushing photos at her. "This is Haber. Twenty years in, a wife, three kids. The youngest is still in elementary school."

She stared at the photos.

He pushed another one at her. "Here he is dead. There was no misunderstanding. Mane is all about ambition. He knew that Haber would ruin your husband's career, and he thought he'd hitched himself to a rising star. He couldn't live with that. He murdered him."

She closed her eyes. "That's not the Carlton I know. He grew up poor, a kid from the streets. He fought every day not to lose himself to gangs. Nothing was ever handed to him. He's an anomaly. Exceptional. He used to come to the house for the holidays. He'd sit in the kitchen with me for hours just talking. He's not this person you say he is."

Gibbs shook his head. "What about Haber? Who was he? By all accounts, he was a decent man following Navy procedures. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone."

She looked at him, her eyes wet. "Could it have been an accident?"

"No. This was not an accident. He had a syringe full of poison with him. He passed Haber in the hall during the squall, and he plunged it into the man's carotid. There was no room for a misunderstanding. There was no conversation at all. Your friend, the anomaly, killed a man over a job, Patty."

"You know this or you're speculating?"

He slapped the table. "Do facts have no meaning for you? You tell it then. Why did he stab Haber in the neck with a syringe full of poison? You're a McGee, and lord knows, they seem to know everything. You tell me what happened."

Patty shook her head, chin trembling. She pushed the photos at him and got up, grabbing her bag and rushing out of the room.

A minute later, Ziva poked her head in. "That didn't go so well."

Gibbs glared at her. "Just drive her home and, on the way, tell her how stubborn and wrongheaded she's being."

Ziva shook her head. "Really? A person would never know that you had three failed marriages."

….

He wore a pair of jeans and sweatshirt from Tony's go bag and was sitting by the chair at the window when the admiral showed up with Francesca. There was still trembling in his hands, and nausea had settled deep in his gut.

Francesca rushed him with a hug as if they'd known each other for years, and he received it stiffly, eying his father over her shoulder. The admiral cleared his throat. "You're looking better."

Tim disengaged from Francesca and nodded.

"I spoke to a lawyer. The State Patrol isn't going to charge you so there is no way that Vance can use this against you."

"The director has my best interests at heart."

"That's naïve, Tim. Vance has gotta be looking at damage control right now. This might be the right opportunity for you to transition to my staff."

Bile rose in his throat and he winced. "I'm not going to do that, Dad. I have a job."

"Where you are fast becoming a liability, son. I know the truth hurts but-"

Tim stood. "Francesca, can you leave my father and I alone for a few minutes?"

"I am only here to support, Tim. You need to remember that your father knows what's best in these matters," she said.

"Dad, I am about to be rude to your girlfriend."

The admiral sighed. "Francesca darling, please wait for me outside."

"I am not your enemy," she said pointing a long, red lacquered finger before turning and marching out.

The admiral sat on the bed. "Let's strategize."

"No, that's not going to happen, Dad. The plan is for me to get some help with my addiction to benzos. Pending progress, I'll return to light duty in a few weeks. Then I'll be back in the field."

"Why are you always fighting me?"

"I'm not fighting you. I'm setting boundaries. This is my life. Your role as a decision maker in it was over a long time ago. That's the only way I can move forward."

"I'm trying to help."

Tim leaned toward him. "You can do that by listening and supporting my decisions."

"Like some idiot Greek chorus- is that it?"

"Dad, getting close to you again has been so important to me that I let you take over like you always do, but I'm not a boy anymore. A man makes his own decisions."

He raised his arms. "So, all of this is my fault."

"No! I should've set boundaries when you first came back into my life, but I was too worried about you being sick. I thought that if I pushed too hard, we'd lose what time we had left."

"Don't count me out yet, boy."

Tim nodded. "I can do that for you if you can do that for me."

"Tim, you abused drugs, almost got yourself killed. You're asking—"

"Admiral!"

Both of them turned to find Tony at the door. "Francesca is on fire."

"What!?"

"What I mean is that she's upset. She just got on the elevator, crying. Something about you still loving your wife. I might have accidentally hypothesized something…"

"DiNozzo!"

"Hurry! She was pissed," Tony said as the admiral ran past him.

McGee shook his head after Tony closed the door. "You shouldn't have done that."

He shrugged. "I just told her he would've hired a lawyer by now if he was so eager to move on."

"Tony."

"Not going to apologize. If he can help you with your recovery, then he's welcome. If he can't, then all bets are off. This isn't just me talking. This is your whole team- your other family."

"I'm going to be sick," he mumbled as he headed into the bathroom. Tony winced as he listened to the choking and heaving, but he didn't leave. As much as the admiral was driven to change him, Tony felt the same compulsion to protect him.

…..

Gibbs slapped the phone on his ear, eyes still closed. "What?"

"Jethro, it's Patty. I saw him. He was here."

He sat up in bed, rubbing his face with his free hand. "Ziva told you to meet with him in a public place with one of us as backup."

"I didn't invite him."

He detected the fear in her voice. "What happened?"

"I called him and told him I wasn't comfortable meeting with him in person. I needed time to think. Then I went to bed early. Was sleeping. Heard a noise. I woke up and he was in my bedroom."

Gibbs was reaching for a pair of pants at the foot of his bed. "Are you okay?"

She whispered. "I was scared to death."

"Listen to me. I'm on my way. Does Penny have a gun?"

"Are you kidding?"

"Okay. Sit in the living room with the lights off. I know it sounds crazy, but you'll be able to see outside the windows better."

"Just hurry," she hissed.

….

Gibbs knelt outside of a kitchen window, and noted where a tool had scratched the lock. He turned back to the phone. "He entered through the kitchen window on the East side of the house. I want pictures and prints. We're going to violate this asshole's parole…I'm going to get her statement and get her out of here before you get here, Ziva…Good."

He shut off the phone and went back into the house. She'd packed a bag as directed and sat stiffly in the living room. "You doing okay?"

She blinked at him. "That was not the man that sat at my Christmas dinner year after year."

He disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a glass of water. He sat down next to her. "Take it from the top. What happened in the phone call?"

"Ah, he wanted to come over and I said I wasn't comfortable with that. I told him that it seemed to me that he'd misrepresented what happened with Haber. He got angry. Told me that he expected more from me. He said that John had been avoiding his phone calls. Said he was feeling abandoned. I told him I wasn't responsible for what John did or didn't do. And then I made up an excuse and got off the phone."

"Then you went to bed."

She nodded. "I heard a noise around 1 a.m., and I turned on a light, and there he was in the bedroom looking at me. I screamed and he told me to shut up or he was going to make me. I was terrified."

"What did he want? Take your time, Patty."

"He just paced and ranted about how he'd given John his whole life. He talked about the long hours, the endless, unreasonable demands. He said that we'd led him to believe we were his family. He accused us of betraying him." She held her hands tightly together in her lap.

Gibbs was not a demonstrative man, but he'd already broken several rules when it came to the bewitching Patty McGee so he reached over and covered her hands with his large, calloused one. It calmed her. "Tell me what happened next."

She shook her head. "He went on like that for about 20 minutes. I was sitting on the bed in my nightgown, scared to move. He was like he was completed unaware of how inappropriate his actions were. Then he stopped and looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time. The outrage sort of drained from his face, and then he got teary. He begged me to not tell anyone that he'd broken in. He told me he was under a tremendous amount of stress."

"I promised I wouldn't tell anyone he was here. I told him that I cared. Anything I could think of came tumbling out of my mouth. Then he looked at me really hard and I got the feeling he was evaluating me as a liability. I have never been that afraid in my life. Thank God that whatever left in him that's decent took hold and he ran off."

He nodded. "He remembered his humanity."

"He almost killed me, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he almost did."

She shivered and he pulled her in. "I'm taking you to my house. It's not ideal, but I know Tim will understand."

"What about John?" She said into his shoulder.

"We're not going to worry about him, Patty. We're not going to worry about what anyone says.

….

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I have decided to just this story be what my fingers want it to be. The clichés and bad ideas abound, but I am giving in to all of them. Hopefully, this can work for you as a guilty pleasure more than anything else. I hope to hear from you. Sheila

A Mediocre Man

Chapter

The admiral glared at them from the doorway, and Tony wondered for a moment if he was going to slam the door in their faces. Instead, the admiral took a deep breath. "This better be about an apology, Gibbs."

Gibbs and Tony walked past the admiral into the living room of the suite. The admiral pointed at Tony. "You cost me three hours yesterday with your little stunt with Francesca."

"You were pushing him. That's not how you help him recover."

"If this is what you're here about, you can let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."

"We're not here about that. We're here about Mane," Gibbs said.

"I haven't been in contact with him."

"Well, he's been in contact with Patty."

The admiral shrugged. "He said he wanted her as a character witness."

"Admiral, he broke into your mother's house last night and scared her badly. He woke her in her bed, ranting about how the two of you have betrayed him."

"Oh God, is she okay?"

Tony noted that again the complexity of John McGee was in full display.

"She's shaken."

"Damn! I never foresaw…what the hell was he thinking? He's completely lost it."

Gibbs studied him. "He's pretty desperate right now, and we need to pick him up and get him off the street."

John McGee sighed. "Of course. I don't want him out there if he's a threat to Tricia."

"We sent a team to locate him this morning and his apartment is empty. We're hoping that you can help us locate him."

"Right. I'll attempt contact this morning, and let your team take over. In the meantime, Tricia needs a safe place. It's probably best if she stay here with me."

Tony looked at Gibbs. "Admiral, Patty is not going to want to be here with Francesca."

"I'll send Francesca home until Mane is apprehended. She'll understand unless, of course, you'd like to poison her some more with your theories, DiNozzo."

Gibbs shook his head. "Admiral, Patty is not going to be staying here. We have her some place safe."

"She's my wife, Gibbs, and I can keep her safe!"

"She doesn't want to be here, Admiral. Just help us get Mane, and everything should be fine."

"Gunny gets the admiral's wife. That's got to be a feather in your cap."

"Boss," Tony said in warning.

Gibbs' face didn't move. "I'm trained at this and I do it well. Just focus on the fact that she's going to be safe."

"She's my wife, Gibbs."

"I am aware of this."

"You cross a line, and I will make your life a complete misery."

The corner of his mouth turned up. "You have no idea of what real misery is."

Everything stopped, the truth of Gibbs' history hanging in the air.

Tony broke in. "Gentleman, let's stay focused on keeping Patty safe."

"Patty!" John McGee shouted. "For 35 years, she was Tricia, and then all of a sudden, she stops putting on makeup, lets her hair go, and calls herself Patty. It's a farce!"

"Boss, we gotta go." Tony steered Gibbs toward the door.

"Wait! I called to talk to Tim this morning. They said he's not available."

Tony turned. "He's with counselors doing an intake."

John McGee winced. "That's how I lost Tricia. I gave her over to the counselors."

Gibbs watched the admiral as he switched from rage to something altogether different.

"They only want to help him recover," Tony said softly.

"I'll get to see him?"

Tony looked at Gibbs and responded. "You have to care about what he wants and needs, not just what you want."

"I'll go see him tomorrow and you'll come along."

"Me?" Tony's eyes went wide.

"You're a insufferable clown, DiNozzo, but he trusts you. Plus, you don't fear me. You'll stop me from going too far."

"You're serious?"

"I know that Tricia, or whatever the hell she calls herself, is gone, but I can't lose him too. I don't want the counselors to steal him from me."

"I'm going to be a pain in the ass, Admiral."

"I'll lock up my side arm when you're around."

Tony looked at Gibbs and sensed one of his boss' imperceptible nods. "We'll call him tomorrow and see if he can make time for us."

…

"Oh my God, Mom! I can't believe he got into your bedroom." McGee paced his hospital room.

"I'm okay, Tim. Jethro came for me and brought me to his house. I just wanted you to know that."

He winced. "That's no place for you to stay."

"It's going to be fine. I brought my paints and he has a lovely screened in back porch where I can work. Besides, it's only until they find Carlton."

He's bad news, Mom."

"Who?" She smiled lightly. "Jethro or Carlton?"

"Mom, you know I'm talking about Carlton."

She nodded. "Yesterday, I would've argued with you, but the man I saw last night was unhinged and desperate. I didn't recognize him."

"Well, I'm out now, and you're going to stay with me."

"Honey, your place is very small and you need space with your recovery."

"Mom, I trust Gibbs with my life and with yours, but I don't trust him with your heart."

She shook her head. "It's not like that. We're just friends."

"You have no idea. I have seen how he looks at you. His eyes get weird and soft. I don't see that look often, but when he gets it… He's a good man, but he's a heartbreaker." He shook his head.

She laughed. "You don't have to worry about that, Tim."

"The boss has demons, and I have seen really powerful women reduced to…you know, piles of melted…goo. I'm serious, Mom."

"Honey, he's not interested in me."

He ticked off fingers. "You are redheaded. You are beautiful. You are around his age. And you are an amazing person."

She got off the bed and went to the window. "It's not going to happen."

"How do you know? He's good-looking and mysterious and strong. Women love that kind of stuff or that's what Tony says."

"I know it's not going to happen because I'm not looking for love. I'm getting out of a 34-year marriage. Right now, I don't want to take care of another man. Besides, Jethro isn't the only one with demons."

He studied her. "Is this about the thing you keep apologizing to me about?"

"Tim."

"For last few years, you've been sad about something. I figured it was about Dad, but you keep apologizing for not being the parent I deserve."

She walked up to him and put a hand on his cheek. "It's natural for a parent to wonder if they did right by their children. That's all it is."

"You sure?"

"Hey guys! Did I interrupt something?" Abby stood at the door in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Hi honey!" Patty pulled her into a hug. "Good to see you."

"What are you doing, Abbs?"

She shrugged. "I'm taking a few days off."

"Why?"

"I want to help."

He shook his head. "I don't need a babysitter. That is not going to help me. Abby, you should go back to work. I bet the lab is all backed up."

Abby bit her lip and looked down.

"Come now, I don't mean to hurt your feelings; I just need to work this out on my own. Okay?"

Abby turned toward the door, but Patty caught her arm. "You're not going anywhere. What's wrong with you, Timothy?"

"I don't want to be babied."

"Nobody's babying you. You said your team is family to you. This is what family does. And don't tell me you're doing this alone because what's got you into trouble in the first place. Is this how you treat people who care about you?"

"I'm sorry, Abbs."

She gave him a smile. "I understand what you're saying. I just want to help distract you from things. You always say that you and I have the best fun together."

He pulled her in for a hug. "We do, don't we?"

"Remember how we adopted Agnes the sloth bear at the zoo last year for my birthday? We haven't checked on her in months, and I've been thinking lately that we aren't very good sloth bear parents."

He looked at Patty. "I'm still pretty worried about Mane."

"Jethro said that your job today is to be my bodyguard. He and Ziva and Tony are going to find him."

"Besides," Abby said smiling. "She's Agne's grandmother and she's never even seen her grandbear."

"Alright, I guess we're going to the zoo."

….

"Tony!"

DiNozzo looked up from his desk at Gibbs and Ziva exiting the elevator.

"What do you got?"

Tony threw his hands up. "I just talked to the admiral. He's called Mane all day, but he hasn't responded. Any luck at his place?"

Ziva shook her head. "His car is there, but he's not. We left Dorneget there watching the car."

"Do you think he ran? He's got the skills to hide."

Gibbs nodded. "It's a possibility. Breaking into the house and terrorizing Patty McGee pretty much screws his chance at an appeal."

"I don't know. It doesn't make sense. He's been a disciplined man his life dedicated to serving his country. When agents in the Mossad go rogue, some of them can't live in the shadows. Their life is based on their accomplishments. Nothing has meaning if there is no one to see it."

Tony shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe, he's just holed up in a motel trying to get up the courage to come in."

"I don't think courage is his problem, DiNozzo." Gibbs shook his head. "I got a feeling on this. This guy is not looking to surrender."

"You think he'll go after Patty again?"

"I don't know. She should be safe at my house especially with Tim checking in on her during the day. The admiral is really the one he wants a response from. Tony, I know the admiral has security, but I want you to stay close to him."

Tony grinned at Ziva. "The admiral likes me."

"Obviously, he doesn't know you," she retorted.

"Alright," Gibbs clapped his hands. "We're not getting anything done just staring at one another. Go home and get some rest."

….

Gibbs leaned against the doorway and took it all in. She'd set up her easel and her paints and brushes were scattered on a table. The back porch had been empty in recent years. He could never figure out what to do with the space except sit in it. That only required one chair. For her, he'd filled the space with a sofa from a spare bedroom, a lamp, and a table with chairs.

It was too dark for painting, but she was curled up on the sofa with a book under the soft light of the lamp. Her eyes were closed, and he thought about waking her and getting her upstairs to the spare room.

"Did you find him?"

He blinked, surprised at the sound of her voice. "I thought you were sleeping."

She lifted her head. "I was just thinking. Where are Tim and Abby?"

"In the living room choosing names for a…bear, I think. Someone named Agnes is pregnant."

She smiled. "They are really sweet together."

"They are."

"Do you think…I mean, one day..."

He chuckled. "There are days when I just want to knock their heads together and tell them to figure it out already."

"What about Carlton?"

He shook his head. "Nothing yet. But I'm not worried."

"You'll be glad to get your house back."

His mouth felt dry. "I'm glad to have the company."

She got up off the sofa. "Are you hungry? We made some chicken piccata for dinner. Let me heat a plate for you."

Gibbs couldn't manage a protest. He watched her walk into his kitchen and he swallowed. It was familiar in a way that left him speechless. For a moment, he thought that the only solution would be to send her home with her son, but he knew how small Tim's space was, and he couldn't deny how amazing it felt to have life in the house again.

"Boss."

He startled.

"I could help in the office tomorrow. I have a therapy appointment in the morning, but nothing after that."

He shook his head. "No way, Tim. No duty until I hear from a doctor. How's the anxiety?"

McGee shrugged. "I'm on a low dose of Xanax, and I have strategies I am supposed to use if I start to get worried. I need to be more open with my feelings."

"Are you sleeping?"

"I don't know. It's my first night as a free man."

"You can stay here if you want."

"I'd like to go home actually."

"Are you okay with your mother staying here?"

"You set up such a nice space for her to work. It's really nice of you, Boss."

Gibbs cleared his throat. "I'm not going to…hurt your mother."

Tim's mouth twitched. "I know you won't."

"Ah, did you and Abby name the bear yet?"

He reddened. "We can't technically adopt a baby until it's born, and there are several people who sponsor Agnes so we may have some competition, but you know what it's like when Abby gets determined. She likes Ursula if it's a girl and Bernard if it's a boy."

"The zoo is never going to know what hit 'em."

Tim smiled. "That's for sure."

Patty appeared. "I've got dinner for you at the table."

Gibbs couldn't meet her eyes. "Thank you."

Tim leaned over and kissed her. "Hey Mom, I'll stop back in the morning after my appointment."

"What do you think of the name Bernadette?" Abby stood in the doorway to the kitchen, her head cocked. "Do you like it better than Ursula? Both names mean 'bear'."

Tim turned to her. "Actually, I like Ursula the best. It has an exotic quality to it. I want our baby bear to be unique."

"Me too," she smiled. "I'm going to call the adoption coordinator tomorrow. I'm so excited."

"Okay Abbs, our adventure is over for the day. Let me take you home." McGee said softly, gently pushing her against the wall. It was almost an intimate moment, and it was as if he'd forgotten his audience.

She hugged him, looking over his shoulder at Patty. "I can bring my easel tomorrow, and you'll give me a lesson?"

"That sounds great," she smiled.

Tim herded Abby out the door moments later, and Patty sat down at the table. "They're in love."

Gibbs looked up from his chicken. "But do they know it?"

"I think it scares both of them. It's funny because I don't remember being scared at all when I fell in love with John. Maybe it was because I was so young. Do you want coffee?"

He stopped chewing. "I don't make coffee here."

But she had disappeared into the kitchen. He looked down at his plate and tried to sort through the discomfort in his gut. It wasn't annoyance. He actually appreciated the ease she had in his space. Yet there were times when he worried he would look up and forget she wasn't Shannon."

She leaned against the door, arms folded. "It'll just take a minute."

He shook his head. "The coffee I have in there is so old."

"It's okay. Tim brought Penny's maker and grinder over, and I have some nice beans. I can't live without coffee in the morning."

He leaned back and looked at her. "I fell in love with Shannon the first time I saw her."

"Your first wife?"

He nodded. "I was 19, she was 18. I could barely string two sentences together in her presence. She was beautiful, but I certainly seen other pretty girls. I don't know what that it was, but I knew we were meant to be together."

"I understand what that's like. It's a high you spend the rest of your life chasing."

"In my case, I let three subsequent marriages crash and burn over that chase."

"You don't strike me as an impulsive man."

"I'm not anymore," he said wiping his face with a napkin.

She disappeared again and returned with two steaming cups of coffee. He took it from her and sipped. He smiled. "This is good, really good."

She sat down. "I know you like it dark, and I remembered my mom used to do. She'd make a regular brew and then add a teaspoon of instant."

"I'll have to remember that."

"Is it hard to talk about Shannon and your daughter?"

"It's gotten easier."

"Do you have pictures?"

He scraped his chair back and returned with an album. "There aren't many pictures. It's all my fault. We never had much money, and I resisted buying a decent camera. Claimed there was plenty of time for all that. Shannon would always tell me that we were missing memories."

Patty leafed through it and found a picture of Kelly smiling in that unconscious way little kids have before they're old enough to worry about how they looked. She was missing one of her front teeth and hair stuck up on one side of her head. "Her joy really shows through here."

Gibbs smiled down at the photo. "It's one of my favorites. My dad was visiting and she was so excited to see her grandpa. She made maybe ten welcome signs for him, and insisted on chocolate chip cookies for dessert every night. It was a good time."

"Jethro, this photo has good resolution. Have you ever thought of letting Tim make it larger; something you could put on your wall?"

He looked down at it. "There was a time when it would've been too painful to see her face staring back at me. Now, I don't know. Would the photo be harmed?"

"No, not at all. I would take very good care of it. I promise."

He hesitated for a moment, and then he pulled it out of the album, pushing it toward her. "Take care of my girl, Patty."

…..

Tim sat up, breathing hard. The dream was too garbled for any real memory, but all the symptoms were back- pounding heart, shallow breathing, and a feeling of tremendous dread in his gut. He looked at the clock and saw 3:15 a.m. He screwed his eyes to go over the plan. He needed to talk to someone or try breathing exercises. If there was no improvement in 30 minutes, he could have one Xanax but only one.

He climbed out of bed and started pacing. He tried to remember all of the yoga steps of breathing his therapist was teaching him. He worked it for 15 minutes, but still felt lightheaded. The causes of the fear seemed to come from every direction- his mother's safety, his father's judgment, his own feeling of insecurity, and his currently tenuous position as an agent.

Abby had wanted to stay, and he wanted to let her, but it would gotten complicated. His feelings for her were too strong, and the events of the last few days had left him open to each other in a way they hadn't been in years. As tempting as it was, the timing was wrong, and he was determined to cultivate his relationship with Abby with the care a surgeon might give to a baby's beating heart.

He stared at his cell phone for a long time before he picked it up. It wasn't fair to burden the people in his life with his troubles, but he knew it had been even more damaging to shut them out. "Hey, I know it's late, but I wouldn't call if I didn't need you…The diner on 15th and Newton is close for both of this…I appreciate this in ways I can't express."

…..

A few minutes later, he emerged from his building and headed for his car. The man across the street almost missed him, but his training had taught how to sleep like a cat. His head popped up and he noted the agitation in McGee's walk. It was clear that the admiral's golden boy was still impaired. His weakness disgusted Mane. Tim McGee had been given every advantage imaginable in life, and he'd done nothing but squander it on mediocrity. Following him was almost a waste of time. There were far more desirable targets, but the son had somehow ended up at the center. They all seemed to harbor such a devotion to him. It was as much a source of curiosity as it was a source of rage for him.

…..

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: A lot of jumping the shark occurred in this chapter, but I seem unable to tame my muse. Sometimes, I can't help writing a story that refuses any sort of discipline. If you like it, let me know. Sheila

A Mediocre Man

Chapter 6

DiNozzo entered the diner at 7 a.m. during the early morning rush. He found them at a booth near the back, dirty plates perched near the edge of the table. He slid in next to Ziva. "How long you two been here?"

"4:30 a.m."

"How you feeling, Probie?"

"Like a fool."

Tony shook his head. "This is exactly what you were supposed to do."

McGee sighed. "Can't pull one of you out of bed every night."

"You're not going to have to. Just in the beginning. Just until you get used to life without the benzos," Ziva said.

"So, what did you and Ziva talk about for 3 hours?" Tony waved at the waitress for a menu.

He shrugged. "Nothing and everything. We spent the better part of an hour arguing over which of us you would want to take if you got your own team."

"Really? Which of you did I end up with?" He asked before mouthing coffee at the waitress and pointing to an item on the menu.

Tim and Ziva exchanged looks and laughed. "Neither of us," Ziva said.

"We figured it would be best if you started with a team that didn't know about all the skeletons in your closet."

Tony took the cup of coffee from the waitress and nodded. "Yeah, how could I maintain my Gibbs like mystique with either of you holding me back?"

McGee smiled. "I'm glad we're all on the same page then."

Tony fixed eyes on McGee. "You're going to be fine, Tim. You know that, right?"

"Right now, I feel like a liability."

"I'm not trying to attack your old man, but that's his thinking. Look at us. We've all had our moments, and we're all carrying different legacies from our fathers. Some of it has served us and some of it has held us back, but we can all agree that our success in life came the moment we let go of their dreams and set our own."

McGee's eyes widened. "Did you practice that? I mean, is it written down somewhere? That's pretty amazing."

Ziva narrowed her eyes. "You got that from a book, right?"

"Nope. I was brilliant all by myself," Tony smiled down at the pancakes placed in front of him and reached for the syrup. His phone rang at that moment and he growled, "Shut up, phone!"

The phone didn't listen, so he abandoned the syrup and planted it on his face. "What!...When?...I'm on my way…I don't care about his schedule. You make sure he's there…Call SecNav, I don't care. I'll be there…" he glanced at his cakes, "in 25 minutes."

He hung up and McGee looked at him. "Dad?"

"That was his aide. The admiral heard from Mane. I'm going over to get the details."

"So am I," Tim grabbed his jacket and stood.

"I don't know about that," Tony said, still eying the pancakes wistfully.

"Come on. It's my dad. You can't keep me out."

Ziva looked at Tony and shrugged. "It's probably better for him to be there than to worry on his own."

Tony nodded, pushing the pancakes away. "Update the boss. Come on, Probes."

…..

The admiral's aide seemed reluctant to let them into his suite, and the reason became immediately apparent. The yelling drifted out from the bedroom. "No! I'm not eating it! I don't want anything!"

"Darling, it's the nausea from the chemo. The doctor said to expect it, but he also said you have to keep your strength up."

"I don't care! We all know this thing is going south. The cure is worse than the frickin' disease!"

"Just the eggs, my dear."

"No, that's the worst of all! Leave me alone, woman!"

The aide shifted nervously. "Please wait here. The admiral just needs a moment."

Tim rolled his eyes. "He's my dad. Get out of my way now, Lieutenant!"

"Son?" The admiral appeared in the doorway wearing a robe and slippers. The weight loss was more evident, and his skin was paler than Tim remembered.

"Did you have your chemo yesterday?"

The admiral rubbed at his mouth. "Last night. Didn't sleep well. Didn't know you were coming this morning. Ah, you look good."

"You got a call from Mane?"

The admiral nodded. "I thought only DiNozzo was coming."

Tim went over and took his arm gently. "Come on, Dad. Sit down. I know the chemo really wears you out."

"I should really be dressed," the admiral said as he allowed his son to seat him.

Tony saw Francesca in the doorway. For once, she wasn't dressed like she was ready for a night on the town. Her long hair hung straight and her bare face revealed a pretty woman. "Francesca, what does the doctor say about smoothies? When my mom was sick, she liked strawberry smoothies."

Francesca blinked. "John?"

He nodded. "I like blueberries. Do they have a blueberry one?"

"Yeah," Tony said. "That's what I remember. Small doses. Cold foods. Liquids."

She nodded and disappeared into the bedroom to call room service.

"Didn't want you to see me like this."

Tim squeezed his hand. "This is what family is for, Dad."

Tony sat across from them. "Tell us about your phone call with Mane."

The admiral frowned. "Are you working again, Tim? It's too early."

He shook his head. "Just focus on Tony's question."

John McGee swallowed. "He called at around 6 a.m. Wanted to apologize. Said he was embarrassed about what happened with Tric- I mean, Patty. Said he shouldn't have entered the home. Just wanted to talk, and he felt she was putting him off by refusing to meet."

"Don't make excuses for him, Dad."

"I didn't. I was damn mad and let him know it. He said that he needed some time to think. He felt he was just reacting rather than being focused. He said he was just driving and thinking about his next step."

"Do you believe him, Admiral?"

"A week ago, I would've said yes, but there's an anger in him that he can't hide in his voice. He denies it, but I know I can't trust him."

"Is he going to turn himself in?"

"He said he would call me again tomorrow."

"No indication as to where he is now?"

"No. I wish to hell I knew. I don't know what he's capable of." The admiral focused on his son. "How are you doing?"

"I'm getting better, Dad."

"Sleeping okay?"

Tim looked at Tony for a moment. "As a matter of fact, I'm not, but when I can't sleep, I reach out to friends."

"You can always call me, Tim."

"You need to trust that I know what I'm doing. I need people in my life who have confidence in me. That's crucial to my recovery, Dad."

"I worry so much, and it comes off like I don't have faith in you. I should think before I talk. I'm glad you're talking to counselors; I just don't want to lose you."

"Not going to happen, Dad. If you trust me, I promise I won't fail you."

The admiral looked down. "I'm an old tyrant, aren't I?"

Tim smiled at Tony. "You have your moments. I want you to remember what things were like between you and your father before he passed. Neither of you could stand being in the same room."

"I felt like he never gave me choices."

Tim nodded. "Now you know what it's like for me, but you and I are going to be smarter than that."

"I'm worried about your mom staying with Gibbs."

Tim patted his dad's shoulder. "We can't do this to her, Dad. I was feeling the same way until I remembered that we need to trust her too. She wants to be her own person, and we need to respect that."

"Four marriages. The man's a Lothario," he grumbled.

Tony laughed. "That's funny."

"Dad, Gibbs is an honorable man and he knows his limitations. Mom knows what she's doing."

His face clouded. "I swear to God if he so much as—"

"I got it. If he makes Mom cry, I'll be the first one to flatten his nose."

Tony smirked. "I got to be there for that."

Tim gave him a hard look. "Listen up, Tony. You don't cross the McGee's."

"I'll file that away."

There was a knock on the door, and Francesca rushed past them, her hair in curlers. She opened the door to a steward and took a small purple-blue smoothie from him. She rapidly repeated orders to send one up every four hours. Then she turned and smiled at the admiral. "Here you are, mi amor."

The admiral took the drink. "This looks good. I haven't had one of these in years. Too many calories. I feel like a kid."

Tim nodded at Francesca. "Thanks for taking such good care of him."

She smiled brightly. "Please excuse me. I am…what is the word…unfinished."

The admiral took out the straw and started drinking it down.

Tim took the drink from him. "Hey Dad, come on now. Don't attack it. Slow down. Be kind to your stomach, okay?"

Tony watched as he watched Tim help his father negotiate the smoothie. It reminded him of his journey with his own father, and how nothing was quite as complex and contradictory as the bond one has with a parent.

…..

"Thanks for setting this up for me, Abby."

"It's going to be so great when it's finished. He's going to love it."

"Do you think?"

"I can't wait!" Abby smiled.

Patty studied her. "No one has your energy, Abby. You're very special. I'm so glad you wore your regular clothes today."

Abby looked down at her short skirt, skull t-shirt and combat boots. "I thought you might not like it. Sometimes, people are confused about why I dress this way."

"You're just being you, and your clothes are part of that expression."

"That's exactly it!" Then Abby cocked her head at the blank canvas on her easel. "I'm afraid to do anything. What if I ruin it?"

Patty came over and studied it. "Close your eyes and picture something beautiful. Take your brush and start with a stroke. Look it over and then imagine the next stroke. Painting can be like a meditative process."

Abby sucked in breath and closed her eyes. Then she smiled. "Agnes. I want to paint Agnes."

"Perfect! Start with that one stroke. We'll talk it through stroke by stroke."

Abby surprised her with a hug. "It means so much to be friends with you."

Patty squeezed her back. "Tim and I never have a phone call without an Abby story. Sometimes, I ask for one when I am feeling down."

"He's my best friend."

"He's a good friend to have," Patty said, returning to her own easel.

Abby bit her lip as she considered the empty canvas. "There was a time, in the beginning, when we were more than just friends."

"I remember that."

"He…talked about that?"

Patty hid a smile. "He said there was someone special, someone very unique. He said that she took his breath away. Then one week I talked to him, and he said that you'd both decided to be friends."

Abby nodded. "Yes, it was really both of us who decided that."

Patty dabbed her brush in the red. "Actually, he sounded kind of sad. Denied it, of course, but I could feel it for quite a long time."

Abby dipped her brush in brown and tried a tentative stroke. "It was kind of sad for both of us I think, but we worked together, you see."

"Understandable."

Abby frowned at her effort, and then she studied her photo of Agnes. "I think I might be better at abstract art."

"It doesn't matter as long as it's your art."

"Tim deserves someone like him: sweet and smart with a good heart."

Patty sighed as she contemplated her work. "Sounds to me like he had someone like that."

Abby put the brush down. "I get scared when I think about him like that."

"Some of the most important decisions we make in life are scary."

"Yeah, but what if it's the right thing. What if my fear is getting in the way of something special?"

Patty put down her brush and faced Abby. "Sweetie, your heart will tell everything you need to know. Listen to it."

"I could lose him."

She smiled. "I don't think that's possible."

Abby stared at her, and was about to say something when Patty's phone rang. She picked it up. "Hello…" Her eyes widened. "Carlton? Is that you?"

Abby ran for her phone and dialed Gibbs.

"I know you're sorry, but you really scared me, Carlton…You have been like family to me, but even family has to take responsibility…What you told me about Haber's death doesn't fit with what you're being charged with. I wish you had been more truthful with me."

Abby pantomimed stretching out the call and Patty nodded.

"You need to listen to your lawyer, Carlton. That's really the best thing to do at this point…That's a good plan…John would approve. He still wants the best for you. I truly believe that...I accept your apology. I think you can still have a future as long as you handle the trouble in front of you now…I'll think about it, Carlton. It's all I can promise you now…Of course, I'll report what you said…It's not a betrayal. I am cooperating with the law just you used to do…Carlton? Carlton?"

She pulled the phone away from her ear and sighed. "He hung up."

Abby nodded. "We weren't set up for a tap. I doubt they got much other than a general area. Do you think he knows where you are?"

"No, I don't think so. He says that he's going to turn himself in tomorrow. It sounds good, but he seems so agitated."

"There's a car with agents out front. Gibbs says we should stay put."

Patty nodded. "Let's not let it ruin our afternoon, okay? We were just getting started on our painting."

…..

Gibbs looked up from his book to see her standing in the kitchen doorway with a cup of coffee. "Kind of late for coffee isn't it? Almost midnight. You've been painting all evening."

"It's a project I'm excited about. Mind if I sit down?"

He gestured to the couch he was on, and she curled up next to him. "Do you really think Carlton will surrender in the morning?"

"I don't know. At least he's talking about it."

"When he does, I'm free to go back to Penny's."

He nodded. "You are."

"When I came, I thought I could be of some help to John, but he's being taken care of."

"Tim spent most of his afternoon there. Wanted to miss his therapy appointment, but Tony called him and pitched a fit. Threatened to come down and cause a scene."

She laughed. "You really take care of each other."

"The work is hard. If we don't watch out for each other, we'll never make it."

"I'm going to miss this."

Gibbs put his book down. "You're staying at Penny's. You said you had nothing pressing to return home to. Tim loves having you around. Why leave?"

Her eyes got soft. "I was offered a job about a month ago. Then I thought about John being sick, and it was clear that Tim wasn't well. I declined the offer and came here. But I'm realizing that I'm not really needed here, and I emailed them back and the offer was still open so I accepted it."

"Something back in California?"

"No."

Gibbs shook his head. "Patty, I interrogate for a living. Don't make me pull out the big guns."

She sighed. "I've been involved with a private orphanage for some years- fundraising and such. I went to visit last year after I split with John, and it had a profound impact on me. They do so much with so little. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and when this opportunity came up, it struck me as a chance to really be my own person- not just a wife or a mother. They need an arts director, and I have so many connections. I feel like I can do this, and bring in sponsors. It's really very exciting."

"And where is this orphanage, Patty?"

"It's in Burundi."

Gibbs looked at the ceiling. "Burundi. There's currently a travel warning from the state department. It's not safe for Americans."

"I wouldn't be traveling. I would be living there. Other Americans are there."

"And they would tell you stories about Americans being robbed, kidnapped, and killed. It's not safe!"

"This is not a whim, Jethro. I want to go and make a difference. I want this chance to be my own person."

"Then start an arts program in D.C. God knows there are kids here that are being neglected. You would be closer. Tim…and the rest of us would be nearby."

"I don't want to be protected. I want to explore. I want to know who I can be!"

"Are you sure you're ready for that? I mean, it was only three years ago when you…"

She stood before he could finish. "You don't know me well enough to say anything about that. Don't make me sorry that I shared…"

"Patty, sit down."

She shook her head. "I'm not a delicate flower. I got into a bad spot because I isolated myself. I thought I lost my sense of purpose. Things are different now, and I have a chance to spread my wings and I won't be held back."

"Okay. I overreacted. Can you sit down, please?"

She eased back into the couch and he leaned toward her. "You're right. I don't know you well, but I know that you raised two amazing children, and you lasted almost 35 years with one of the toughest son of a bitches that I've ever come across."

"That's not enough. This is all for me."

He took her hands. "Does it have to be Burundi? This is going to drive your son nuts, and wait until the admiral finds out. I suspect that if you're kidnapped, it's going to happen before you even get on a flight to Africa, and he's going to be the one orchestrating it."

"They have to trust me."

"It's not about trusting you. It's about every anti-American thug out there looking for an opportunity to make his bones."

"What about you? It's not all in your control, and yet you brave dangerous situations every day. What was that like for Shannon? What about your other poor wives? The wives have to suck it up, Jethro. I always did. It's someone else's turn now."

He shook his head. "You're a dangerous woman, Patty."

"You have no idea," She said as she unexpectedly leaned in and kissed him. It was soft and she stopped and looked into his eyes. Then she snaked a hand around his neck and pulled him in. Gibbs followed and deepened the kiss. For a long minute they kissed with curiosity and caution of school kids exploring feelings for the first time.

When Gibbs pulled away, it was with reluctance, his breathing shallow. "I promised your son this wouldn't happen, Patty."

She rested her hand on his cheek. "You promised him you wouldn't hurt me and you're not doing that."

He furrowed his brows in confusion.

"I'm different than your wives or the other women you've disappointed. I understand you. You're a good man, but your heart is damaged. You don't know how to let someone in. I understand this because my heart is damaged too."

"Patty."

"Shhh!" She patted his cheek. "I'm not finished. You can't hurt me because I don't want you in the way that they did. I don't want a commitment or a future with you. I have too much time to make up for. I just want what you can given me here and now."

He grabbed her hand. "You think you've got this all figured out, don't you?"

"I want to be independent, Jethro. It's time for me to live my life."

"And you've convinced yourself you can't be hurt? What about me? Do you really think my heart is empty?"

She shook her head. "Never. A man like that couldn't care for my son like you do."

"Or wish that someone like you could be a possibility in my life," he whispered.

"You don't really mean that."

He folded her into his arms and leaned back into the corner of the couch. "Patty, it took me three failed marriages to learn that I had to face my pain, not hide behind every pretty redhead that crossed my path. I don't think that seducing me or running off to Burundi is going to prove to anyone how strong you are."

She sighed, feeling the strength of his arms around her waist. "It's not a game, Jethro. These are things I want to do."

He tightened his grip. "I believe you, but I don't really see you as a love 'em and leave 'em kind of gal."

"I don't want another husband."

He smiled into the top of her head. "I imagine you've had your fill of taking care of cranky old men."

She moved into his chest. "There are some things I miss about marriage."

"Oh yeah. I know all about that, but you're not some casual encounter, Patty. Even if you weren't Tim's mother, I'd be hesitant. There's something about you that reminds me of what I lost. Believe me when I say that you don't want to go on that journey with me."

She shook her head. "Jethro, I don't think I've ever been turned down in a more convoluted way."

"Patty, I doubt anyone has ever turned you down."

She smiled and tried to sit up, but he held her in place. She looked at him. "I'm trying to make a graceful exit here."

He kissed the top of her head. "God, I wish there was a way."

She sighed. "You're the obstacle, but who knows- maybe you're right. Maybe one dose of the Gibbs magic would turn me into giggling idiot."

He snorted. "You are a bad girl."

She wrestled out of his grasp and got to her feet. "Well, I guess you're never going to find out."

"Patty, we are not done talking about Burundi."

She tossed her wavy hair. "Don't really see that you have much to contribute to the conversation."

"Patty!"

"Pancakes in the morning? I found some chocolate chips in the cupboard that weren't petrified. It'll be fun."

She was up the stairs before he could respond. For a long time, he stared after her. He didn't try to go up to his bedroom. It was too close, and he was in no way committed to the lofty statements he'd made to her. That coppery hair and the clean skin decorated with freckles combined with her heart and sass left him breathless. He was going to have to bunk on the couch and hope to hell that sleep would find him before the sun came up.

…..

She popped an eye open in the gray of the early morning and furrowed her brow. "You're still awake. This is supposed to help you sleep."

Tim propped his head on an elbow on the bed. "Seriously? You in bed with me is supposed to make me sleepy?"

"Why not? Tony thought it was a good idea. You know, someone to talk to if the anxiety took over."

"Tony thinking it was a good idea should have been my first clue."

"What's the problem?"

"Because I keep thinking about the other things we used to use this bed for."

She smiled, her black hair falling across her face. "I remember."

"It's a little distracting, you know."

"We had a lot fun back then."

"We did." He reached over and tucked her loose hair behind her ear.

"Do you ever miss it? I mean, what we had. Sometimes, I miss it a lot."

His hand left her face and ran it lightly down her side. "Abbs, if you recall, I was not the one who got scared."

She stopped his hand at her waist and stared into his eyes. "What if I wasn't so scared anymore?"

"I don't know. Maybe, it's my turn to be scared. You really broke my heart."

"There's no one else, Timmy. There never really has been. Sometimes I worry that you don't see me like you used to."

"I don't, Abbs. You're not just my Goth dream girl anymore. You're my partner. We work together like two parts of a whole. It's pretty amazing."

Her face fell. "So you don't see me as a desirable woman anymore?"

He laughed. "Abbs, you're the most beautiful woman I know."

"Yeah, but there is Ziva."

"She's beautiful too, but you're still my favorite."

She eased over until she was inches from his face. "Answer my question. Do you want me?"

He cupped her chin. "Only if I can have you forever, Abby."

She blinked. "Timmy, that took my breath away."

"Good! Okay, I'm sleepy now." McGee started to roll away from her.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Abby sat up.

"I'm going to sleep. You've got a lot of thinking to do. I meant what I said." He smiled as he hugged his pillow and closed his eyes. For the first time in two months, he felt totally relaxed.

….

He felt the difference in the car's ride with the trunk loaded down with munitions. His decisions were still unclear. He'd spent the day on the phone with lawyers, friends, and even members of the McGee family, but no one had offered him an acceptable solution. Instead of supporting him, the response he got was mostly impatience and frustration that he hadn't already surrendered. Spending the rest of his life in jail for doing his duty was a travesty. Worse, it was injust- unfitting for a man who'd selflessly sacrificed his life for his country.

The son upset him the most. That doughy white face and those gentle eyes had no business carrying on the McGee legacy. Worse, the mediocrity of the man and the support he nevertheless received infuriated him. Following him the last two days had clarified one thing, and that was that Timothy McGee had to be part of his final act.

In the dawn of his final day, he stopped the car outside the brownstone apartment of the admiral's son. He got out and stared up at the window. He risked exposure, but he cared little at this juncture. His analytical mind was in chaos and he needed to snap the details into place. Head down and mumbling, he began pacing in front of his target's home, determined to plan, down to the moment, the activities that would communicate his end.

…..

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This chapter is a little wild and a little hard. I hope you are still reading. I always enjoy hearing from you. Sheila

A Mediocre Man

Chapter 7

"We never talked about mangos, Frannie. You have to admit that we never talked about mangos."

"It is not good to only eat the blueberries. The doctor wants you to have variety, mi amor."

"Perhaps, I overreacted."

"About this, I must agree."

"No more mangos, my sweet."

"Of course, mi amor."

Tim sat in the living room and pretended that he and his father's new aide weren't overhearing the admiral apologizing to his girlfriend in the next room for throwing his smoothie at the wall.

The aide, Lieutenant Morton, leaned over. "I could've told her about the mangos, but she never listens to me."

Tim just shook his head and looked away. There was a knock at the door and the aide jumped up to answer. DiNozzo appeared and McGee groaned.

Tony sauntered in. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Good morning to you too."

"You're scheduled for therapy this morning."

"I got called in on a smoothie emergency."

"What?! Boss is going to have a fit about you missing your therapy."

Gibbs appeared in the doorway. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"He skipped therapy, Boss."

Tim screwed up his face. "I didn't skip anything! I just rescheduled."

Gibbs wagged a finger. "That's not how this is supposed to work. If you're not going to take this seriously, you and I are going to have a real problem."

"Boss, listen to me. This is one of his chemo days, and he's always pretty crabby as a result and there was a bit of an altercation when I stopped to check on him so I rescheduled."

"Altercation?"

McGee sighed. "He threw his morning smoothie at the wall."

"Is that supposed to be funny?"

"Do I look like I'm laughing, Boss?"

"Well, I apologized. You happy now?" The admiral strode into the room in full uniform.

"Is Francesca happy?"

"Ecstatic. She's never heard me grovel before, and unfortunately, I think she likes it." Then he noticed Gibbs and DiNozzo. "What are you doing here, Casanova? How's my wife?"

"Says the man with a girlfriend," Tony muttered.

Gibbs ignored both of them. "Mane was supposed to surrender this morning at the courthouse. He was a no show."

John McGee scowled. "Damn it all to hell! Morton, get that idiot on the phone. I do not have time for this! Find a place to meet. Tell him I'm personally bringing him in."

"I don't think it's such a good idea, Admiral. He left a message with his lawyer telling him he would no longer need his services."

John McGee narrowed his eyes. "You don't think he retained another one?"

Gibbs shook his head. "You know him better than I do. Is Mane the kind of man to stage a last stand?"

"Admiral, Mane is on the phone for you." Lieutenant Morton held out the phone for him.

McGee took the phone, his eyes on Gibbs. "Carlton, what's going on? I thought you were going to come in today…You want to meet? We can arrange that…" McGee furrowed his brow. "Why do you want my son to be there and how do you know he's with me right now?"

Gibbs turned to Morton. "Does this suite have a second exit?"

He pointed to a second bedroom.

"I want you on that exit now!"

Morton pulled his gun and headed into the bedroom. Gibbs turned to Tony. "Get the admiral, McGee, and the woman into the bedroom."

Tim was on his feet and pushing his father toward the bedroom. "Where's your gun, Dad? I need your gun."

Tony looked at Gibbs. "I should have your six."

"Get in the bedroom and check on the windows, Tony!"

Tony nodded and headed for the bedroom. Gibbs sidled up next to the door to the suite, his gun drawn. He started to reach for the handle when the floor reached up, throwing him into the wall in an explosion that shook the whole building.

…..

Tim lifted his head, blinking through the dust and participle raining gently on his head. "Dad? Tony?"

Then he heard a woman wail and through the haze he saw Francesca sitting up on the bed sobbing.

"Get down!"'

Tim turned his head and saw Tony slumped against the wall fumbling for his weapon. Their eyes met. "You get them out of here! I'm going back for Gibbs."

"No." Tim sat up.

"Shut up and do what I say! You don't even have a weapon!"

"Dad!" McGee pulled himself to his feet.

The door swung open and Tony wheeled around, gun pointed. Lieutenant Morton stumbled in. "Admiral!"

"Shit!" Tony lowered his weapon. "Is the second exit clear?"

"I think so."

Tim lurched around to the far side of the bed. "Dad!" He dropped down and dragged his father onto the bed. Francesca's wailing rose when she saw the admiral.

"Can you walk, Dad?"

The admiral moaned, struggling to right himself. Tony turned to Morton. "Get them out of here now!"

The lieutenant helped McGee get his father to his feet, and then he unceremoniously grabbed Francesca by the arm. Between McGee and Morton, they got the admiral and his girlfriend into the second bedroom.

Tony leaned against the wall, took a deep breath, and then burst through the broken door to the living room. The debris rain was thicker here, and he started choking. He could see enough to see the door to the suite had been breached, but he detected no intruders. Using munitions to blow a door and stun the occupants successfully hinged on an element of surprise. He expected Mane to be in the room already but there was no one.

He heard a moan and found Gibbs crumbled on the floor next to a wall. "Boss!"

There was blood on Gibbs' face when he turned him over. "It's okay, Boss. You're going to be okay."

The blue eyes opened and then winced at the dust. "Come on. I can't let you just lay there. Mane is here somewhere. We gotta move, Boss."

Tony struggled to pull him upright with one hand, keeping his gun hand free. Gibbs groaned, struggling to pull himself upright, but he couldn't balance himself and both men collapsed against the wall. Tony pinned Gibbs to the wall, keeping an eye on the door. "Where the hell is he?"

There was movement behind him, and he swung around. "Federal agent—!"

"Tony, it's me!"

Tony squinted through the haze. "Jesus, McGee! I almost killed you! What the hell!?"

Tim moved in and slung Gibbs' arm over his shoulder. "Couldn't leave you. The other hallway is clear. Morton got them into the stairwell. He contacted the rear guard."

Together, they pulled Gibbs into the second bedroom and to the open door to the hall. Then the shooting started.

"Shit! He's behind us!" DiNozzo pushed them toward the door and then turned, leveling his gun into the living room. "Get him out of here, McGee!"

More shots rang out and Tony returned fire. McGee got Gibbs into the hall, and dragged him to the stairwell. "Open the door, Morton!"

The Lieutenant opened up and pulled Gibbs inside. McGee turned. "Tony!"

DiNozzo appeared in the hallway and started toward him. Then gunfire. Tony turned and a bullet caught him in the chest slamming him into the wall. He was sliding to the ground when Morton pulled McGee into the stairwell, but Tim broke away, falling to the ground and then scrambling toward DiNozzo.

Shots exploded in the walls around him and the door to the stairwell slammed shut. Tim dived for Tony's gun. He pulled it out off Tony's hand and then rolled toward the gunfire. Before he could even aim, a boot landed on his neck. He looked up into the barrel of Mane's semi-automatic rifle.

….

"I don't want to move him. He's badly injured," McGee said.

Breathing heavy, Mane pointed his rifle at DiNozzo's head, his voice low and steady. "He dies here or you bring him. You have five seconds to think it over."

McGee scrambled around to Tony's head, and hooked him under his arms. Then he dragged him into the second bedroom. Mane placed two devices in the hallway and followed, locking the door to the hallway.

McGee stopped and looked up at him. "He needs medical care now!"

Mane shook his head. "You're slow, Tim. Your dad always said you were smart, but I think you're slow. Killing him means nothing to me. It'll save you dragging him into the living room." He pointed the gun.

"No!"

"Then don't question me again!"

McGee dragged Tony through the second bedroom and into the living room. The dust was starting to settle now, and there was glass and debris everywhere. Mane was moving fast now, closing the drapes to the windows.

McGee watched him. The man was loaded down with firepower and grenades. He looked like he was ready for battle in Fallujah. Tim kept one hand on Tony's carotid. The steady beat was the only thing that calmed him. He'd hoped his partner was wearing a vest, but all he felt was bare chest below his neck. No one was prepared for this.

Mane placed two camping lamps on the ground, and set up a laptop and two cell phones on the couch. Then he crouched down, and opened the laptop. Hacked hallway cameras came up on the screen. He looked at McGee. "We have plenty of time. I have enough explosives planted to stop the first three assaults. SWAT is civilian, and they don't have the sense of duty that a soldier has. They're not prepared for casualties. They'll wait a long time between assaults. Plenty of time for me to get my point across."

"First aid kit." McGee knew it was useless to argue with a man who had the kind of fever in his eyes that Mane did.

Mane threw him a small kit.

Tim shook his head as he looked down at the rudimentary kit with band-aids and antiseptic. "What am I supposed to do with this?!"

Mane ignored him as he lined the door to the suite with explosives. McGee watched his movements for a moment, but realized that jumping him was going to end badly. The man was a walking arsenal. Plus, he wasn't as shell shocked. McGee's ears were still ringing and his eyes didn't properly focus.

McGee returned his focus to Tony. Tony's normally ruddy face was pale and his breathing was shallow. Tim unbuttoned his shirt slowly, and pulled it open. The wound was to the right of Tony's heart and bleeding profusely. Tim stood, his hands wide. "I need towels, Mane! I need towels!"

Mane swung his rifle at him. "Sit your ass down or bleed to death beside him!"

Tim closed his eyes and persisted. "What's the damn point in dragging him in here if not to keep him alive. What's the damn point?!"

Mane jerked toward him and McGee gasped, but Mane darted past him into the bathroom. He returned with an armful of towels and dumped them on Tony. McGee dropped back to the floor, pulling the towels to the side. With shaky hands, he opened the bottle of antiseptic and dumped it on Tony's wound. Tony groaned at the sensation. Then he bunched one of the towels and gently pushed it on the wound. Tony's head rolled back and forth and his eyes opened. "McGee?"

The only thing Tim could control in this moment was the comfort he gave his friend. "It's okay, Tony. I'm here."

"Gibbs?"

McGee nodded. "The Boss is fine. He got out."

"Mane?"

He swallowed. "We're hostages, Tony."

"No," he said trying to raise his head.

Tim put a hand on his forehead and gently pushed him down. "Don't worry. Everyone's working it, and I'm clearheaded so it's all good."

Tony closed his eyes and a hint of a smile grew. "You're clearheaded? Don't make me laugh, McPanic."

Tim chuckled softly. "I'll show you, Tony. I'm going to make you eat those words."

Mane finished securing the perimeter and dropped to the floor next to the couch. He grabbed one of the phones and hit a button. Seconds later, there was a phone ringing in the Admiral's bedroom. Mane cursed and threw the phone down hard. "That piece of shit aide didn't take the admiral's phone with him!"

McGee watched him closely. Mane was breathing hard, trying to plan the next move. Then Mane looked at him. "I need to talk to the admiral. You have two minutes to figure out how to reach him on the phone."

McGee shook his head. "His phone got left behind. There's no way to reach him."

"Figure it out! Two minutes! Figure it out!"

McGee reached into his pocket. "The shock of the explosion probably disrupted the electronics."

"One minute!" Mane pointed his rifle at McGee's knee cap.

Tim opened his phone and hit Gibbs' number. In the same moment, another explosion rocked the building, throwing Mane on top of McGee.

…

Gibbs was propped up against a wall in the lobby. Marine guards had ran up stairs moments earlier despite his protests. The admiral was slouched on a couch with Francesca.

Gibbs' face was sticky with blood, and the only sounds he could detect was a loud buzzing that seemed to originate in his head. Morton walked by and Gibbs yelled, "My people! Where are my people?"

The lieutenant turned and started talking, but Gibbs shook his head. "I can't hear you!"

Then the lieutenant turned away from him. Gibbs fumbled for his phone and dialed a number. "I can't hear anything! Get me Leon!...Explosion! Admiral McGee's hotel. Casualties! Don't try talking to me! I can't hear you! I need Fornell! FBI SWAT is best! McGee's guard is freelancing! We have to get a handle on it! I can't tell if you're Leon! Are you Leon? Find Ziva! I need Ziva!"

Morton came into view again and Gibbs gestured to him. "Can you hear!?"

The Lieutenant nodded slowly. Gibbs handed him the phone. "Talk to them! I need Vance! I need FBI SWAT! I need Fornell! I need Ziva! Make it happen!"

Gibbs lurched forward onto all fours and tried to get to his feet. Something was wrong with his equilibrium because he couldn't make it to his feet. He crawled to the Admiral's couch. "Get your guard out of there! Mane has more explosives! Traps!"

The admiral turned and Gibbs could see his mouth moving. Morton nodded and ran toward the stairs when the second explosion hit.

…..

McGee grabbed for Mane's knife when the man fell on top of him. All he could grab was the wrong end and the serration sliced through his palm. He let go as Mane rolled him over and sat on his torso. He looked down at him with dilated eyes. "There has to be a punishment for that."

The butt of Mane's gun came crashing down on McGee's face.

…..

Gibbs opened his eyes and found that he was staring at the lobby ceiling. Morton leaned over him, mouth moving. Gibb grabbed the front of his shirt pulling him closer. "Talk into my ear!"

"Sir, Vance says you're in charge until he gets here."

Gibbs nodded. "Get me upright! Put me in a chair!"

The Lieutenant dragged him to his feet and pulled him into a chair next to the admiral. Gibbs grabbed at him again. "No one goes up there!"

Morton leaned in. "We may have more casualties!"

"SWAT will handle it!"

Morton nodded. Gibbs pulled him in close again. "Tell me what happened to my people!"

"DiNozzo was shot. McGee went back for him. I had to leave them behind." Morton said in his ear before backing away.

Gibbs sat alone with this for a moment, staring at the elevator in front of him. They were both up there on the third floor in the explosions and the shooting. They were up there among the debris with a man who had no interest in tomorrow. His throat tightened and he coughed. Then he heard shouting.

"Let go of me! I'm not leaving!" He swung his head to look for the admiral. Guards were trying to get the admiral on his feet.

"What are they doing?!" He called to Morton.

"Guards are taking him out of here! SecNav's orders!" Morton shouted.

"Put him down! We need him to talk to Mane!"

"SecNav's orders!" Morton shouted, shaking his head.

Admiral McGee fumbled for his weapon. "I'll shoot the next man who touches me!"

"Sir!"

McGee pointed at Morton with his free hand. "You call Jarvis and you tell him to go to hell!"

…

Abby opened the door, pigtails swinging. "Hey Dornie! Did you hear from Gibbs? Patty is ready to go back to Penny's house."

He looked past her. "Is she with you?"

"Yeah, we're just waiting to hear from Gibbs. He's not answering his phone though."

"Abby, I got orders to take you and Mrs. McGee back to the office."

"Why?"

He looked down at his feet.

"Dornie, is something wrong? Come on, Dornie. Look at me!"

He looked at her, wincing. "I don't know a lot, but I know something went really wrong at the admiral's hotel."

She covered her mouth. "Dornie?"

"Just get Mrs. McGee for me, and I'll tell you everything I know in the car.

….

The first thought Tony had upon opening his eyes was that it might be evening. The room was dim although much of the dust had settled, leaving everything in the room gray. He felt pressure on his chest and reached up a hand. It landed on a silent face. Fear rose in him. "Tim?"

There was no response.

"Timmy? Buddy, please say something." He felt for McGee's eyes. The face shifted on his body slightly and he shuddered. "Thank God."

He heard chuckling and turned his face to find Mane sitting on the floor against the wall, his assault rifle in his lap. The camp lanterns sat on either side of him lighting him in an eerie glow.

"How much time?"

"Three hours, 25 minutes."

Have you been in contact with a hostage negotiator?"

"Why?" Mane's voice was low and slow. "You my partner now? Are we pulling this off as a team?"

Tony felt McGee's cheek. "What did you do to him?"

Mane shook his head. "Knocking him out was a breeze. The old man was right about him. Nothing impressive to see here."

Tony narrowed his eyes. "What do you want?"

Mane smiled. "I want everyone to know the quality of the man being destroyed here today. I want the admiral to know the consequences of the choice he made."

"Choice?"

"He used to tell me how he wished his son was half the man I was. I used to hear that on a regular basis, and I did everything I could to prove to him that I could be the son he deserved, but the man turned on me. I made the deepest sacrifice I could think to make, and he turned on me."

"You murdered an innocent man."

Mane pointed the rifle at him. "I only need one hostage, and you're not the one who's going to reduce that old man to tears."

Tony's breathing quickened but he didn't flinch. "We're sitting here in the dark, man. We're not proving nothing to nobody."

Mane gestured at his phone. "I was going to contact them earlier, but I thought I'd let them sit and stew in the uncertainty. So far I've ignored 23 phone calls."

"They're going to storm this place any minute."

"Naw. The first team up ran into an incendiary device approximately three hours ago. They're still licking their wounds. Civilians."

Tony closed his eyes for a moment. He barely had the energy to breathe, and the weight of McGee on his chest wasn't it any easier.

"I'm getting bored, DiNozzo. What say we talk to somebody?" He pushed McGee's phone toward Tony. "Call your boss and put it on speaker."

Tony winced at the buttons in the darkness. He hit redial and then speaker. A moment passed and then a voice. "Tim?"

"It's Tony."

"What? Is that you, Tony? Talk loud for me, boy. I got only part of one good ear right now."

"It's me, Boss."

"Report!" Gibbs was literally yelling into the phone.

"I'm down. Bullet to the chest. McGee's here. Unconscious. Mane's up here renacting the Alamo. He's letting me talk to you for kicks."

Mane leaned toward the phone. "Gibbs, is the admiral with you?"

"He got pulled from the scene. It was out of my hands."

"I want to talk to him."

"I'll give him the message."

"Tell him that the only his son comes out of this alive is if he comes in here himself to get him."

"Oh, that's not going to happen, Lieutenant. He didn't get those medals out of a Cracker Jack box."

"Is that in stone, Gibbs? If so, let me know. The boys and I here will end the day early. You know I don't have anything to lose. I'll have to satisfy myself with the fact that I didn't let him control the end for me and his pansy-ass son. What do you think? Should we shut this down or is there still some negotiating left to do?"

"It's not my decision, Mane. This goes up to the Joint Chiefs. McGee's an asset. I need a few hours."

"You have two." Mane grabbed the phone away from Tony. Tony felt himself drifting away and he tried to fight it. He found McGee's face again and patted his cheek. "Come on, Probie. I need you with me now." All he got in response was a groan.

…

Ziva stared at him as he put the phone down. "He's going to kill them. He's going to kill both of them."

Gibbs nodded. "Yes, he is. He already knows he's a dead man."

"What the hell is wrong with you, Gibbs?! You should've given me the damn phone. I'm his commanding officer!"

Gibbs turned to Admiral McGee. Without seeing a person's mouth form words, it was still like listening to someone speak under water. The frustration on the man's face told him everything. "We can't let him control this, Admiral. We do that, and they're dead within the hour. Telling him that you'd been removed from the scene makes sense to him. He's obsessed with your importance. It gives us time to plan. The minute you get on the phone and start talking is the beginning of the end."

"This is between me and Mane. Set it up, Gibbs!"

"No," Gibbs said slowly. "It is about you, Mane, and Tim. And I don't understand why, and I suspect your injured son doesn't either. So before we do anything, I need to understand that dynamic. Why does Mane hate your son?"

"I don't know, Gibbs."

"Figure it out, Admiral! They're all going to die if you don't!"

John McGee took a breath. "Mane comes from a broken family; dad died in prison and mom was a drug addict. He made everything happen by himself. I admired it a great deal. I let him know that. Told him he had stones. Told him I wished my own son…was more like him. Brought him home for holidays. Told him he was family."

Gibbs shook his head. "Mane think he deserves Tim's position in your life."

"I was angry at my son."

"You made him your son and then you abandoned him. Sure as hell didn't help that you let Tim back into your life at the same time."

"I created a monster."

"You did."

"That's why I need to be the one to go up and fix it."

"That's not going to happen."

Both men looked up to see Vance standing there. "I just got off the phone with SecNav. I got orders to keep you out of this."

"It's my boy, Vance. I'm giving you a verbal resignation now. And if I survive whatever happens here, I'll take the court martial. You're a father. You know better than to stand in my way."

Vance turned his attention to Gibbs. "You should be in a hospital."

"Sorry, Leon, the admiral and I have work to do. Where is Fornell with SWAT?"

"He and the commander are going over the building schematics with the facilities manager as we speak."

Ziva stepped in front of Gibbs. "You don't need SWAT. I go in alone. I can do this, Gibbs. I'll put a bullet between his eyes before he even spots me."

"Sit down, Ziva."

"I can do this!" She glared at him fiercely.

"Sit down."

She sat down and he grabbed her hands. "You're part of the final plan. That's for sure. No way I don't use your particular talents, but you're not going to be storming the castle. That's what SWAT is for."

"What now, Gibbs?"

He didn't have a chance to answer as Patty McGee was suddenly in front of them, her hair loose and wild and her eyes red. "Have you talked to Tim? What about Tony?"

Gibbs shook his head. "You should not be here."

She focused on John McGee. "You can fix this, can't you? We brought that man into our home. We treated him like family."

The admiral took her hands. "We have to focus, Patty. We don't have time for tears."

Ducky appeared with Abby in tow and Gibbs glared at him. He shrugged. "You're looking at me as if you think I had a choice. Let's just say that Patty and Abby were determined."

Patty nodded at John. "Okay. No tears. What can I do?"

"It's a waiting game, Sweetie."

She nodded. "Where's Francesca?"

"Ah…she's over there," he pointed to a forlorn figure curled up on the couch. "She refused to go to the hospital."

She looked from her husband to Gibbs. "Looks like a lot of that is going around. I'm going to go sit with her now. Don't forget that your son's mother is here."

….

McGee couldn't breathe through his nose, and touching it was excruciating, but he could focus enough to check Tony's vitals.

"He's awake, you're out. You're awake, he's out. Always someone to entertain me."

Tim raised his head and looked at Mane. The man was still sitting against the wall eating an energy bar and watching them with great interest.

"He calls you Timmy. Like you're a little boy. It's kind of funny."

McGee grabbed another towel and added it to the compress on Tony's chest. "He's going to die."

"We all do, Junior. You didn't know that? That's one of those truths that separates the boys from the men."

"Come on, Mane, please. He's not your target. I'm begging you."

"Why?" Mane's face glowed from the lantern.

"He's my friend and he's a good man. People love him and I don't think anything would ever be the same if he was gone."

"That's not enough."

McGee swallowed and licked his lips. He looked around the dark room for a moment. "You said that you have a message. You want people to understand who you are. What message are you sending if it's just about being cruel? He's not part of your problem. Maybe people would remember you as the warrior you say you are if you were generous in some way."

"The logistics are impossible."

McGee shook his head. "Not when it comes to Gibbs. He's an honorable man, and he will make it happen."

"He's a son of a bitch."

"One of the best." McGee stared at him. "Do the right thing, Mane."

Mane flipped the cell phone at him. "Call your boss and put it on speaker."

Tim scrambled for the phone and hit Gibbs' number. "Boss?"

"McGee, is that you? You sound funny."

"Broken nose."

"Tony?"

"We have to do something for him now. His pulse is weak and he's unresponsive."

"Mane? Are you there?"

Mane leaned toward the phone. "The admiral's son thinks you can work a miracle and get DiNozzo out of here. Only he doesn't seem to understand that someone has to replace him and I need that someone to be the admiral."

"I haven't heard back from the joint chiefs. You're going to have to take me instead."

Mane shook his head. "No."

"Do it!" McGee yelled. "Everyone is watching! Do something decent!"

Mane lifted his rifle, aimed, and shot off two rounds. McGee dropped and the phone went dead.

…..

Everyone stared at the phone in Gibbs' hand but no one could speak. Gibbs took a breath and redialed McGee's number. There was nothing but a busy signal. He hit the number again. Busy Signal. He hit it again. Nothing.

"My son's dead," John McGee said softly.

Gibbs shook his head. "No. There's no evidence of that."

"Tim pushed him too far and Mane murdered him."

"No."

Patty McGee approached them slowly. "Did something happen?"

Gibbs looked at her, his eyes soft. "We don't know anything yet, Patty. I promise you."

She stopped in the middle of the room and stared at him. Then she hugged her arms tightly around her middle. Ducky approached quietly and put his arm around her, whispering into her ear. She let him lead her away.

Gibbs' phone rang and it startled all of them. He pressed it to his ear. "Mane? What did you do!?"

Then he let out a great breath and connected the call to the speaker. "…next time, I will shoot him! He does not dictate to me!"

Gibbs looked at John McGee and responded calmly, "The admiral has arrived. He and I are going to come up with a stretcher. DiNozzo in exchange for the admiral. Okay?"

"You'll come up the back. I see anyone else in the hall, and everyone dies."

"No tricks, Mane. We just want to get through the day."

"Some of us will and some of us won't. You have ten minutes." Then phone call ended.

Fornell shook his head. "That was not the plan, Jethro."

Gibbs looked up. "New plan. We don't have time to wait."

"Agreed," said the admiral. "Let's do this thing."

…..

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: We're almost done. One more chapter to go. Lots of threads to tie together so it will take about a week. Thanks so much to those of you still reading. Sheila

Chapter 8

Patty's eyes were wide as she watched the men ready for their trip up the stairs. She approached Gibbs. "Jethro, am I going to lose everyone today?"

He stopped what he was doing. "I know what I'm doing, Patty, and I'm good at this. We're all coming back safe."

She put her arms around his neck and whispered into his ear. "I am trusting you with everything."

She let go and backed away. Then she turned and went to the admiral hugging him tightly.

….

"Come on, Tony. Stay with me. Okay? We need you." Tim murmured as he patted his face. "I don't think I could face Ziva or Abby without you."

Mane chuckled. "Aw geez McGee, I don't think you're going to have to worry about that."

McGee ignored him. "Boss is coming and he's going to get you out of here."

The phone sounded and Mane stood. "One thing goes wrong, and I'll end it for as many people as I can find bullets for. You're first."

McGee leaned over and kissed Tony on the temple. "You're going to be okay."

Mane reached over and pulled him to his feet. "You're my leverage, Junior."

Using Tim as a shield, he pushed him out into the hallway. "Open the door!"

Gibbs came through a stairwell with a gurney.

"Stop! Where's the admiral?"

Gibbs shook his head. "We put DiNozzo on the stretcher first."

Mane was breathing heavy, but he gestured toward the door. Gibbs wheeled it toward him. He looked at McGee. "I need his help getting him on the stretcher."

Mane pushed McGee toward Gibbs. The transfer was quick. The two men had worked so long together that Gibbs merely needed to point and McGee knew where to go and what to do. They attempted no conversation. Mane was too volatile. Gibbs buckled Tony in and looked up. "I get this to the stairwell and then the admiral comes out."

"Do it!"

Mane grabbed McGee again and held him in front. "I better see the admiral in two minutes or Junior and I are going to finish up early."

Gibbs pushed Tony into the stairwell quickly, and before the door closed, Gibbs came back into the hall, the admiral trailing behind.

Mane shook his head. "I don't need you, Gibbs. This is a family thing."

Gibbs stood his ground. "I go where the admiral goes."

"Don't make me kill you!"

Gibbs focused on Tim. His nose was badly broken, and there was something about the way his head listed that suggested a concussion. Worse still, he could see the desperation in Tim's eyes. His agent wasn't going to last much longer. "Tim, look at me. I know what you want to do, but I need you to stay still. Do what Mane says. You're banged up and you're not clear. Right now, you don't have the reflexes for this."

The edge of Mane's mouth twitched. "Listen to the gunny, Junior. You're not a varsity player. Gibbs, you better step off now or it's the last conversation you'll ever have."

Gibbs shook his head. "Come on, Mane. You did the work. You know how valuable the admiral is. You think your beef trumps national security? You don't agree to this and I back him right into the stairwell. SecNav's orders. I'm the expendable one."

"Tim!" The admiral called from behind Gibbs. "You okay, son?"

Mane pulled Tim closer. "Face me, Admiral or watch him die."

John McGee started walking closer but Gibbs put out an arm to stop him. "He stays behind me, Mane."

Mane leveled the gun at Gibbs. "You don't control this. You have five seconds to move."

Gibbs shook his head slowly, not moving an inch. His eyes connected with Tim and he saw what was going to happen next. He opened his mouth to stop him, but Tim erupted in Mane's arms, elbowing him in the gut and driving him into the wall. Mane was larger, stronger, and armed. It took a split second for him to point the gun at McGee's head and fire, but McGee wouldn't let go of him and they both landed hard. Gibbs was on Mane, kicking the gun out of his hand, and landing bunched fists at the back of his neck. John McGee dove for the gun.

Gibbs yelled, "SWAT!" at the top of his lungs, and then there were boots, rifles, and men piling out of the stairwell. Somehow, Ziva was there before anyone, and she crushed Mane's hand with her shoe when he tried to wrestle the gun from the admiral.

At the bottom of the pile was Tim, and Gibbs had to push and shout to get at him. He was face first in the carpet, eyes closed, and Gibbs hesitated at turning him over. Ziva pushed him out of the way, turning him gently while whispering to him softly. There was blood all over his face, most of it on his temple, but there was no bullet hole. She felt everywhere before sucking in breath. "It only grazed him."

Gibbs looked down, his hands shaky. Then he started laughing. "Did you hear that, Admiral?"

John McGee leaned against the wall, legs splayed, a hand covering his mouth. Gibbs reached over and slapped his shoulder. "Did you hear that!? The boy's going to be okay."

The admiral choked into his hand. He paid no attention to the men dragging a living Carlton Mane out of the hallway.

"McGee!" Gibbs called.

The man in Ziva's arms groaned.

Gibbs chuckled again. "Listen up, Elflord. I don't think much of sleeping on the job."

A green eye popped open. "Boss?"

"Ziva, hand him over. I need you downstairs with Tony."

She hefted Tim over to Gibbs gently and jumped up, running for the stairs. Gibbs looked down at him, patting his face.

"Ouch, Boss."

"Sorry about that. Look at your old man. I think he got some dust in his eyes or something."

John McGee was trying to hold back sobs, but the tears ran freely down his face.

"Hey Dad, it's okay. I'm just a little banged up. Don't cry, Dad."

Gibbs sat Tim up and let the admiral reach for him. "Don't move around, okay? We gotta get you on a stretcher too."

Gibbs got up and brushed off his pants. "I'm guessing, Admiral, that you're never going to underestimate your son again."

Using the wall for support, he started toward the stairwell, yelling for a medic.

…..

He felt movement to his right and his eyes popped open. She shook her head. "I thought I was careful enough to sit down here without waking you. Forgot that you were a Marine."

Blinking, he looked around the room and noted all of the sterile accoutrements of a hospital waiting room. "What time?"

"4 a.m."

He let out air. "Tony!"

Patty shook her head. "Critical condition still."

He started to push himself off the couch, but she grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. "I was just there. Ducky's there. So is Ziva. Only one of them can be in the room at a time. You don't want to join that particular power struggle right now."

"Who's winning?"

"Oh, I think you know. I have a feeling she's capable of seeing straight into his soul, and I can't think of anything he needs more right now."

"Tony has talked to you about her?"

She smiled. "He really loves to talk on the phone, you know."

"I think the truth is that he loves to talk to you."

She reached over and touched the cut on his temple. "Why aren't you in a hospital bed?"

"Too stubborn, I guess."

"Your hearing?"

"It's still like listening underwater, but you're sitting at my good ear."

She cupped his cheek. "You brought them all back to me."

He shook his head. "It wasn't me. You should've seen your son."

"John told me."

"I saw the two of you huddled in the emergency room."

"He has a deep heart. That's why it's so hard for him to let go."

Gibbs leaned back on the sofa and watched her. "He wants you back."

"He wants Tricia. I don't think he'll ever get used to Patty. Besides, I think Francesca really suits him."

"You're not tempted?"

"I think 36 years together is something to be proud of, but I'm ready for a new chapter, and I think he's starting to understand that this is not such a bad thing."

"He looked pretty pale when I last saw him."

She looked down and nodded. "They admitted him. The cancer coupled with the stress is really taking a toll on his heart."

He folded his hand over hers. "He's really tough bastard, Patty. I don't think he's down for the count."

She rubbed at her eyes with her free hand. "Yeah, I just have to remember that."

He held onto her hand and closed his eyes. The memory of holding her the other night flooded through him.

"What are you thinking about?"

He turned. "I feel like I've known you for years."

She leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder. "I know."

"Mom."

She jerked upward. Tim stood at the door to the waiting room wearing a hospital gown half tucked into a pair of jeans. The bruising on his badly broken nose radiated out from his nose in all directions, but it was the stitched gash on his temple that gave him a particularly ghastly appearance.

"Honey, what are you doing out of bed?"

"Where's Tony?" He slurred.

She got up and led him to a chair. "You have a concussion and a broken nose. You should be in bed."

He frowned and focused on Gibbs. "No one tells me anything about Tony."

"He's in intensive care, but he's holding his own."

"Can I see him?"

Gibbs shook his head. "They won't even let me in."

"I'm scared that we waited too long."

"We didn't have a lot of choices, Tim."

"We did the best we could?"

"You don't need me to tell you that. You were there the whole time. We all fought hard." Gibbs leaned forward. "Are you having trouble sleeping? Is the anxiety kicking in?"

Tim shook his head. "I'm on plenty of painkillers. I can barely put two thoughts together, but I'm stuck on something that really confuses me. This guy, Mane, I only met him through our investigation of Commander Haber's death, but, on his end, it was like he'd been thinking about me for years. He did all of this damage to get back at me and dad. I kept feeling like I must've done something to him, but I couldn't think what. Poor Tony ended up in the middle of some bizarre family squabble."

Gibbs looked at Patty. "I think your dad can explain it best, but I don't want you to forget that Mane is a sorry son of a bitch who blames everyone else for his own troubles. Don't get too wrapped up in the reasons why he did what he did."

"Mom?"

She sighed. "Carlton was someone we took in and treated like family because he lacked his own. We were lonely for you, but he was no replacement, and we had no idea he would become this person."

"He kept saying that Dad thought of me as weak."

She rubbed his back. "Your dad has always loved you, but he hasn't always understood you. Spending time with him these last few months has been so precious to him. Don't ever doubt that."

He nodded. "Okay. You sure I can't see Tony?"

Gibbs shook his head, hiding a grin. The medications had made McGee even softer than he usually was. "Nope. You need to go back to bed."

"You'll keep me in the loop though?"

"Yeah Tim, you're in the loop."

"There you are!" Abby burst into the waiting room. "All I did was go downstairs for a Caf-Pow and he escaped."

"I was just checking on Tony," he countered.

"Two concussions in two weeks. That's no joke, Timmy."

"Sometimes, I think they just say concussion for every bump to the head. What is their proof?"

"Honey, you can't mess around with this." Patty started to help him to his feet before Abby gently took over.

"I got this, Patty," she said putting his arm across her shoulder. "He's sort of…my responsibility now."

Patty arched an eyebrow at Gibbs.

"Hey Abbs, did I used to be good-looking?"

"I told you not to look in the mirror."

"Just answer me."

"No," she said firmly as she re-tied the back of his gown.

"That's harsh."

She squeezed him around the middle. "You're adorkable."

"Adorkable?" He frowned.

"Much better than good-looking. Adorkable gives me butterflies in my stomach."

"Cool."

She started walking him down the hall, and Patty grabbed Gibbs by the hand and pulled him over to watch them walking away, arm in arm.

"Abbs, I think I saw my mom snuggling with the boss."

"Don't worry, Timmy. You and I are going to have a long talk about that."

"I don't think adorkable is a real word."

They disappeared around a corner and Patty looked at Gibbs. "Everyone gets taken care of except you, Jethro."

He shrugged. "I prefer it that way."

"Liar. Get back on that couch and close your eyes. I'm going to get you a blanket."

He shook his head. "Tony."

"You did your job today, and now I'll do mine." She pushed him toward the couch.

…

John McGee rolled over toward the light and opened his eyes, squinting. Then his son came into focus. "God, you look bad. If that bullet had gone 15 degrees to the left…"

"Actually, it feels worse than it looks. I refused to take my pain meds this morning."

McGee groaned. "You should be in bed."

Tim sighed. "Yeah. I'm AWOL again. I called your aide this morning and found out you spent the night. Francesca says that your heart was in distress."

The admiral shrugged. "It was a tough day."

"For all of us."

"How is DiNozzo?"

"He's still critical."

"I'm so sorry, Tim."

"For what, Dad? Are you sorry for treating Mane like family and then walking away from him? Are you sorry for telling him he was twice the man I was? Are you sorry he drilled a hole in the chest of my best friend?"

"I don't know what to say."

Tim nodded. "Lots to think about, I suppose."

"My arrogance is a disease."

"Oh, it's not that easy, Dad. A disease is something you try to cure. Your arrogance is something you've nurtured for a long time."

"Have I lost you?" John McGee watched his son carefully.

Tim's eyes watered and he looked away. "We both have some thinking to do."

"You were a hero yesterday. You went back for your team twice."

"Okay. Now, you have your proof. I'm a man." He stood.

The admiral sat up. "If yesterday had never happened, and God knows I wish it hadn't, I still would've known. I've learned a lot from you these last few months."

"Dad, I don't want to stress your heart. I want you healthy. I want you fighting this cancer and beating it. I'm not walking out of your life, but things have changed. I'm not going to work for your approval anymore. You accept who I am or you don't. It's no longer my concern."

"I love you, Tim."

"Yeah, me too, Dad."

"Where are you going?"

"My friend is clinging to life. I want to be where he is."

….

He leaned over and kissed her on the top of her head. She looked up, her eyes puffy. "Just a few minutes, Ziva. Then you can have him back."

She nodded and got up, forgetting she was still clutching his hand. Gibbs gently detached them, and folded her in a hug. "Every hour that he's still with us is good news. Okay?"

She rubbed at her eyes and walked out. Gibbs sat down next to DiNozzo. The machines upset him more than he expected they would. He knew his agent wasn't invincible. The bout with the plague wasn't lost in his memory, but there was always such a vitality about Tony DiNozzo. He was probably the most resourceful man Gibbs had ever met, and it unnerved him to see him so dependent on the equipment surrounding him.

Today, he wasn't going to tell Tony that he didn't have permission to die. That speech had been what Tony needed at that time of his life. This Tony was older, more mature; he'd already lived too many lives. He no longer relied on the boss like he once did. Jethro Gibbs leaned toward him. "It's me. I don't have a lot to say. You know what I need from you. I…" Gibbs swallowed hard. "I…need you to stay with us so you can remind us about living the way you always do. We're all a little lost to our work without you poking and prodding, reminding us to breathe and to smile. I need you, Tony. We all do." He smiled. "I can't order you around any more. I realized that a couple of years ago. These days, I know you humor me when I tell you what to do and I appreciate that."

Gibbs's mouth went dry and he couldn't seem to find words so he picked up Tony's limp hand and held it. "Feel me, Tony. Know that I'm here. Can't stay in the room. There's a fierce little Israeli who's laid claim to you, but I'm here. I'm always here for you."

…..

He stood at the entrance to the waiting room and surveyed the room. He shifted his weight from his girlfriend, Francesca, to the doorframe. "I don't suppose there is room in here for me to sit."

Gibbs looked up from his book and Patty's head shot up from the cushion she was resting her head on. "John, should you be up?"

"Heart is stable. I've had my chemo and I've been pumped full of fluids. I'll need nursing care for the next few days, but I won't need to be incarcerated in a hospital bed."

Gibbs got up and gestured to a chair. "Join us."

"Thank you." He let Francesca lead him over. Across from him, Tim was on a couch resting his head in Abby's lap. "Did you take a pain pill finally?"

Tim shook his head. Abby stroked his hair lightly. "He doesn't want to start taking pills again."

John McGee sighed. "We are a sorry looking bunch. There's no doubt about that. Any news on Tony?"

"No," Gibbs said. "He's still unconscious."

"He's a good man. Never held back with me. I respect that." McGee looked down at his hands for a long moment. "I'm so sorry about all of this. I should have paid more attention to what was happening with Carlton."

"Hell, none of us got it right. I should've taken him in after he followed Patty."

"You giving me a pass, Gibbs?"

"All that matters to me was that you focused on all the right things yesterday, and we got it done."

McGee nodded at his son. "I'm not sure he even needed us."

With a groan, Tim lifted his head and sat up. "Don't get it twisted, Dad. I was pretty panicked."

Patty looked at Francesca. "Your suite is destroyed. Where are you going to stay?"

"The admiral's aide is checking other hotels, but word has gotten around about our adventure."

"John, why don't you go stay at your mother's house? There's plenty of room for you and your team."

He snorted. "I won't need much of a team. I've been demoted from the head of the initiative to a consultant."

"Good," Patty said. "You need the rest. That's an even better reason to stay at Penny's."

"You're staying there."

"No, I'm not. My stuff is still at Jethro's house and he has a spare bedroom. I suspect if I ask nicely, he'll let me hang out a few more days."

The room went quiet. Gibbs looked at Patty with a raised eyebrow.

"Actually, Mom, I think that's a great idea." All heads turned to Tim. "He's got the space and the two of you get along. If you're comfortable there and the boss is okay with it, I think you should stay."

"Yes," Francesca clapped. "I have been there once. It's a charming house. Are you sure you don't mind, Patty?"

"Not at all."

The admiral closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. "Patty, you and I really need to make an appointment with our lawyer."

She nodded. "It's time to move forward."

"You know how I feel about change," he grumbled.

Francesca leaned over and stroked his arm. "Some change is good, mi amor."

He smiled. "I'm a sick old man, Frannie. I don't see the attraction."

"We don't get it either, Dad, but we're happy she's with you."

Francesca shrugged. "You are brave and honorable, mi amor. What more do I need?"

"Someone who doesn't throw his breakfast at the wall," Tim murmured.

"Ziva!" Abby cried.

She stood in the doorway, looking exhausted, a cardigan wrapped tightly around her middle. Gibbs stood. "Do you know something?"

"He's awake."

Abby jumped across the room and hugged her tightly. Ducky came up behind them and patted Abby's arm. "Ziva's exhausted, Abby."

Abby disengaged and pulled her to the couch. "Is he talking?"

Ziva nodded. "He's asking for McGee."

….

By the time Tim got in there, Tony was sleeping again. So he sat next to his bed. "Hey Tony."

He got no response. McGee sighed and leaned against the bed. "Thank God you're coming out of it. I was getting worried. Be glad you're not looking at me right now. Man, am I ugly? I'm one big purple blob. And I'm not taking any pain meds so the headache I have right now is terrible. Plus, they're talking about re-breaking my nose to set it right. Can you believe that?"

He sighed. "You know what else. I think our mom is falling for Gibbs. I mean it. All these little glances and whispers. They talk to each other in half sentences- you know, the kind of thing you do when you already know what the other person is thinking. What are we going to do? I mean, it's like a runaway train. There's no way to stop it. He'll marry her for sure. He marries all the redheads. I'll end up his stepson. Think about it. Between him and the admiral, I'll get squashed like a bug."

McGee shook his head. "You'll probably be happy about it. You're already pretending that my mom is yours. Once she marries Gibbs, it'll be like the perfect little family for you. But for me, I just want the boss to stay the boss, you know?"

McGee stopped and studied him for a moment. "The wedding is going to be ridiculous, you know. I mean, am I going to be a groomsman or the one giving away the bride or just the guy trying to keep my dad from shooting Gibbs? Who am I going to be?"

He waited another minute and then he saw it. The corners of Tony's chapped lips curled up and then he whispered. "You'll be the McFlower Girl."

McGee threw back his head and laughed. "Faker! I knew it! Faker! You probably thought I was going to say something really sappy."

Tony opened his eyes and winced when he saw Tim's face. "You sure are ugly!"

"Quasimodo bad."

"You were kidding about the boss and mom, right?"

Tim shook his head. "No, I'm not."

Tony moaned. "What are we going to do?"

He shrugged. "I'm just going to stay out of the way. Let 'em be happy for a while. The divorce will suck, but what am I gonna do about it."

Tony found his hand. "You did good back there, Timmy."

"How do you know? You were unconscious most of the time."

Tony struggled to keep his eyes open, but he slowly lost the battle. McGee waited but Tony's head rolled to the side and his breathing deepened. He squeezed Tony's hand. "I learned from the best, you know."

…

The night air cooled the summer heat and Gibbs liked to keep his bedroom window open so he could feel the breeze as he slept. There were nights when he could see the stars in the sky, and he'd lie awake and remember back to what life was like before the deaths of his family had so deeply punctuated his life.

It was a good night to stare at the stars. People he loved had cheated death again, and he had the life experience to recognize what a gift that was. His hearing was still lousy so he didn't hear her footsteps in the hallway, but he could smell that pink soap that she kept in his bathroom. He knew this was coming, and he'd been struggling with how to handle it. Finally, he rolled over toward the door and saw her standing there in a thin, white nightgown. "Patty."

"I want to be here with you."

"You scare me," he said.

She shook her head and stepped closer. "Almost losing Tony was scary. Seeing the path a bullet etched into my son's face was scary. This is not scary. Hell, I've even heard tell that this can be fun."

"I'm complicated."

"Well, I'm not. Life is short, Jethro, and I have no expectations."

He sat up, swinging his legs off the bed. Then he caught her arm and pulled her in between his knees. He wrapped his arms around her middle and breathed in her smell. "You're so beautiful."

She smiled. "Is there room in this bed for two?"

He laid back pulling her down with him. She settled in on his stomach and leaned over, tracing his mouth. "You feel like home."

He just stared up at her, irises black, as she gathered her nightgown in her arms and slowly pulled it over her head. His hands claimed her bare skin, and he rolled her so she was beneath him and he could take charge. Her hand tugged at his boxers, but he caught it and gently pushed her away. His lips brushed her ear and he whispered, "We have all night, beautiful girl. I've got all kinds of plans for you."

…..

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: It's over. I think my muse was using street drugs for this story. It started out as one story but ended as another. I'm grateful to those of you who rode along with me. I suspect it will be awhile before we do this again. Sheila

A Mediocre Man

Gibbs sat on his front steps and watched McGee as he got out of his car. Tim nodded when he reached the steps. "Are you kicked out, Boss?"

"Nope. Just enjoying a nice fall day. The bruises are fading on your face. Glad to see it."

"Feeling better too."

"Sit down."

McGee sat on the steps next to him. "Mom ready for our lunch date?"

Gibbs nodded. "She's in there doing whatever women do in the bathroom for half an hour."

"I talked to Tony this morning. He gets sprung tomorrow. He's going to stay with Ducky for a couple of weeks."

"Yeah. I'm going to pick him up in the morning." Gibbs studied him, reaching over to touch his face. "You're going to have quite a little scar on your right temple."

"Do you think I'll finally stop looking like a kid?"

"Maybe," Gibbs snorted. "It's going to give you an air of danger. That's for sure."

"It's good for the work."

Gibbs looked down at his hands. "I broke a promise to you, Tim."

McGee didn't say anything for a long moment. Then he looked at Gibbs. "I figured."

"Don't quite know what to do about it. You're very important to me."

"You could try an apology."

"Will it help?"

"You're a complicated guy, Boss. But for some reason, she's really happy right now and it has to do with you. All I ask is that you work hard to take care of her."

"I'll do my best. What about you? How are you managing the anxiety?"

"I have nightmares. It helps that Abby is there for me. And I'm seeing a therapist for the anxiety. Working the program."

"It appears we've both stepped into some dangerous territory, haven't we?"

"For me, it just feels natural. I've wanted to take care of Abby from the moment we met. The trick is to get her to let me."

Gibbs patted him on the back. "I got your six on this. There isn't a better person in the world for her."

Tim squinted into the sun. "My dad is going to visit Mane in lockup. He wants me to come. He wants you there as well."

"What the hell!?"

"He's pretty consumed about how he characterized me to Mane when they were working together. He seems to think that this will help."

"Why do I have to be there?"

"He wants you there for me."

Gibbs blew out breath. "You don't have to do this."

"He wants to make it right. He wants to prove something to me. I just want to get it over with so he'll focus on his cancer treatment. Will you come with me?"

"Of course. Tell the admiral to set it up."

"Set up what?" Patty appeared on the porch looking sunny in a pair of capris and a sleeveless blouse.

Tim stood. "Ah, dad is setting up a meeting for us tomorrow with…the prosecutors."

"Liar," she said as she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Your dad called me this morning. He'll do anything to make things better with you…although I am not sure how meeting with Mane is going accomplish that. I'm a little worried it will make things worse. I was the one who suggested you go along, Jethro. Mane will be properly restrained, right?"

"Yeah," Gibbs said, fighting a grin. "They're very good at restraining people in federal lock up."

She pointed a finger. "Do not make fun of me."

"I wouldn't dare."

"Don't eat anything this afternoon. I'm making Salade Nicoise for dinner."

Gibbs screwed up his face. "Yuck."

"You've never even tried it."

"I know French food and I don't like it. It's saucy."

"No, Jethro. I'm saucy. Salade Nicoise is not."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "Yes, you are."

Tim watched the interaction between the two of them and shook his head. "My brain can't process all this. We better go."

They got half down the walk and Gibbs called out. "McGee, ask her if she has any upcoming travel plans. She won't talk about it with me."

Tim stopped and furrowed his brow at his mother. She shook her head at him, hooked her arm in his, and pulled him toward the car.

…

"Mom?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "You always bring me to the nicest parks."

"Glad you like it, but I gotta tell you that lunch was a real challenge. No one knows how to dodge questions like you do. I'd like to see how you would handle Gibbs in interrogation. Wait. Don't answer that. I actually don't want to know how you handle him in regards to most anything."

She squeezed his arm. "Does it really make you that uncomfortable to think about me and Jethro?"

"It just takes a little getting used to."

"We know what we're doing."

He nodded. "Okay. Let's talk about your upcoming plans."

"You know what it is."

A wind came up and made the leaves sing. He looked into the trees. "This is about Burundi, isn't it?"

"You know how long I've dreamt about that."

"I don't like it."

"Nor do I like you working a job that requires a gun."

"So, this is payback."

She sat up and frowned at him. "Of course not! This has been a dream of mine for a long time, Tim. You know that. Burundi isn't random. I've been raising money for this orphanage for 15 years. I've visited them. I know these people."

"It's not a safe area, Mom."

"I'll be sleeping in a compound with the other workers. I'll take precautions."

"It's a long ways away."

"It won't be forever. I've only promised them a year. I'm going there to serve…and to reclaim myself. I need this."

He sighed. "When you first told me about this, I promised you I would support you. Of course, I never believed it would really happen. But I know you, and I know why you need this. I won't fight it."

Her eyes watered and she smiled. "Thank you."

"I have a question though. If this is what you really want, why are you playing house with Gibbs?"

Her mouth twitched. "I don't know, Tim. I really don't know."

…

Mane looked haunted. His skin was pale and there were circles under his eyes. No part of him looked like the monster that took McGee and Tony hostage in the admiral's hotel suite. His eyes darted back and forth as he regarded those gathered, and it was clear he couldn't imagine the reason for such a meeting.

Mane's lawyer leaned toward Admiral McGee. "We don't know what this is about, and I would never have allowed this meeting to happen if it wasn't for my client's insistence."

John McGee nodded. "I have something to say to my son in front of Carlton. I would be happy if Carlton didn't speak at all, but, of course, I can't make that choice for him."

The lawyer glanced at Mane and nodded. "Go ahead."

John McGee turned and looked at Tim who sat beside him at the table. Gibbs leaned against the wall behind them. "I wanted to say this in front of Carlton because he was deeply confused about my feelings for you. I want him to hear so that he can contradict me if he feels I'm being dishonest. I want to do this because it's the only way you can be sure I am honest with you."

"I don't need this, Dad, but you obviously do. So go ahead."

Admiral McGee fixed his eyes on Mane. "When you came to work for me, I was impressed with your skills and your work ethic. You worked 12-14 hours a day every week. Your interest in serving me was endless. More than that, you were loyal. Other opportunities came your way, but you'd hitched your wagon to mine and stuck. That meant a lot."

Mane's eyes burned and his mouth trembled. "Then you understand what a blow it was when I found out that Haber was going to turn you in."

"I do. I'd fully intended to take you to the White House with me. Your career would've been set, but I failed to calculate how extreme your ambition was. Carlton, you are a young man. When that opportunity was lost, I would've still set you up for success. My recommendation would've given you the pick of any job in the Navy."

"I didn't want another job."

The admiral's mouth went tight. "Disappointments occur in life, and when they happen, we recalculate and change direction. It has happened to me more times than I can count. Understanding that is the mark of a mature sailor."

Mane dropped his eyes.

McGee continued. "We worked together during a time in my relationship with my son where we were not communicating. I was angry with him. Unlike you, he was uninterested in following in my footsteps. He made choices I didn't agree with. I thought he was wasting his potential. There were times when I compared him to you unfavorably. Do you remember those times?"

"Many times, Admiral."

McGee looked at Tim. "It is only with those you love that you are capable of being disappointed to that degree. Those years of silence between us burned in my gut. I was very angry with you, and I am deeply ashamed of that. I was unkind about you to my aide."

Tim stared back at his father in silence.

Admiral McGee slammed the table. "I have to take responsibility for this!"

"You said I was family," Mane insisted.

The admiral's eyes reddened. "You were, Carlton. I could've forgiven you so many things, but pre-meditated murder wasn't one of them. Despite that, I felt responsible enough to support your appeal."

Tim felt unsteady. "Are we finished here?"

"No son, we aren't. I want to ask Carlton a question. All of those years I unfavorably characterized my son, you never had a chance to see for yourself. You never got to know him…until a week and a half ago. What did you think?"

Mane frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You saw him in action, Carlton. Was he disloyal to his team? He went back twice without a weapon to help them. You were there for that."

Mane looked away, shaking his head.

McGee began coughing, sounds wrenching from deep in his lungs. It was minutes before he could compose himself. Tim put a hand on his shoulder. "It's enough, Dad. You did what you came to do."

The admiral shrugged him off and focused on Mane. "You spent hours with him, holding him as your hostage. Did he falter or did he work tirelessly to save his teammate and try to negotiate a solution to your nonsense?" Without a weapon, he played out the final act with you. Do you remember that?"

Mane stood. "I'm ready to go back to my cell."

"Carlton! Tell the truth! He was brave and honorable. He shamed you. Admit it!" More coughing racked his thin frame.

Mane stopped at the door and turned. "Are you dying, Admiral?"

Admiral McGee looked at him, his breathing ragged. "Probably."

He narrowed his eyes. "Good."

The guard jerked him out of the room and the door slammed. Mane's lawyer got up and exited while McGee leaned over the table, coughs erupting like gunfire from his lungs. Tim rubbed his back. "It's okay, Dad. Just slow your breathing." He looked up. "Water."

Gibbs disappeared. Between spasms, the admiral looked up. "I am so deeply ashamed."

Tim shook his head, rubbing his back. "Dad, we were both hurting. I wasn't generous about you either. It happens to people who love each other, but it's over now. We're close again."

"Do you feel it? Do you know how much you matter to me?"

Tim's eyes filled. "Yeah. I feel it. That's why it's so important that you stop blaming yourself. I need you focused on your health. I need you in my life, Dad. I love you!"

Gibbs returned with a bottle of water and Tim looked up at him with teary eyes. Gibbs helped him pull the admiral upright and then he put the bottle in his hands. The admiral took short sips. As soon as the spasms calmed, Gibbs leaned in. "You and I may not be friends, but we care about the same people. Tim needs you. There is no substitute for a father. I have merely been a cheap imitation these last few years. You need to shape up, Admiral, and get a good look at the enemy in front of you. It's the cancer and your family needs you to focus on fighting it. Stop wallowing in your guilt. It's beneath a man of your stature."

McGee chuckled softly. "Gibbs just bitch slapped me, Tim."

"He didn't mean-"

The admiral put a hand. "I deserved it, son. He's absolutely right with almost everything he said."

"What did I get wrong?"

"The part about us not being friends. We're both prickly sons of bitches, but I think we can both appreciate that in a man. I don't have a problem with you, Gibbs."

"Your wife is sleeping at my house."

He shook his head. "We were almost there and then you gotta throw that at me. God, you're a pain in the ass. Still, it's time Patty stopped being my wife. I'm going to get that started right away. Then, maybe, she and I can become friends."

Gibbs smiled. "I believe you and I are going to get along just fine."

….

"Hey!" Patty said as she sat on the side of his bed and leaned in to kiss him on his cheek. "How's my other son?"

"I feel like an old man."

She patted his cheek. "You're looking better all the time."

Tony nodded. "I'm too impatient for all this."

Patty looked around the room. "Well, Tim set you up with everything. You have your movies, cable, internet, Ipad. This should keep you busy for a bit. Besides, I'm sure Ducky is treating you well."

"I'm a man of action."

"You're going to be fine," she said patting his thigh.

"Abby says you're painting something special for Gibbs."

"Shhh! It's a secret."

"You and the boss are getting pretty close."

She picked at the bedspread. "And I suppose you have some words of wisdom on the subject?"

He smiled. "I like the idea. Women are always trying to change him. You seem to like him just the way he is. I think that the two of you together has real potential."

She shook her head lightly. "It's not that simple, Tony. I got married at a young age. This is the first time I have been single since I was 18 years old. I like it. I don't see any need to change that."

"He's not the admiral, Patty."

"But he is a strong presence; a man used to getting his way. It's easy to get lost in that. Right now, I'm very happy, but I don't want a commitment."

Tony snorted. "Gibbs has been burned so many times that I doubt he's ready to jump into anything right away. Take your time."

"I have a dream."

"Tim told me and I am supposed to not give you a hard time about it…although it's a real struggle for me right now."

"So," she said standing up. "Tim tell you about going with his father to see Mane?"

"We're changing the subject then."

"We are."

"Okay. Yes, I heard about the visit with Mane, but it was disappointing. Your son has no flair for the dramatic. I asked him to replay the whole thing for me with voices and everything. I got nothing. It was a damn shame too. I would've paid good money to be there."

"It was a crazy thing to do, but I think Tim is really beginning to feel his father's love."

"Yeah, the old man is really stepping up."

She laughed. "Well, I always knew it was there. John just needed to open up."

"It would be nice to have you around on a regular basis, Patty. You have family here, and I'm not just talking about Tim and Penny."

"You're so sweet, Tony. When I'm ready to settle down, I can't think of another place I'd rather be."

….

She met him at the elevator with a worried look on her face. "Are you sure you are up to this?"

He regarded her briefly. To him, she seemed like an odd mixture of little girl and dominatrix in a black tee and schoolgirl mini-skirt. Still, he knew that behind the clothes she had a great deal of depth. His son always talked about her with a reverence he saved for no one else. "I'm glad you found time for me, Abby."

"Of course!" She was awkward, careful not to be too exuberant. "Are you feeling well?"

"Better every day."

She nodded, her hands clasped firmly behind her back. "Director Vance wanted to be the one to do this with you, but he's at a Senate hearing today."

"That's okay. You're the one I wanted to do this with. You've watched him at work since the very beginning. Shall we go?" He offered his elbow and she took it, leading him down the hall to a conference room. She was already ready with a plasma screen set up and lap top.

"Can I get you anything to drink? Coffee? Caf-Pow?"

"No need for me to be a caffeine junkie these days. I'm fine, Abby."

He sat down slowly. She watched him carefully. "How is the chemo?"

He gave her a wry smile. "Debilitating."

"You can do it, Admiral. The McGee's are fierce."

"Call me, John. I would really like it if you did."

She bit her lip. "I worry about this. I worry that you're not telling Tim the whole truth about your health. It makes me worry about why you want to do this."

"Nothing to worry about. I'm going to hang in there for as long as possible. This isn't a final request. It's just that I've learned a lot about who my son has become, but I want to know more about how he got there."

She smiled. "Oh! That's really sweet!"

"You know Tim. He's so reticent."

She clapped her hands. "This is perfect! I want to tell you everything! I want to tell you about what he was like in the beginning. Everyone else just saw his baby face, but Gibbs and I saw his determination and brilliance. You give him a puzzle and he doesn't stop until it's solved. His concentration is amazing! He never gives up. We've caught some serious killers because of him. I have the files right here."

"You don't mind?" He gave her the beginnings of a smile.

"Are you kidding?! Timmy McGee is one of my favorite subjects."

She opened the laptop and the plasma screen popped with a picture of Kyle Boone. "What 'til I tell you about this one?

He leaned in and focused. She started to say something and then stopped. Instead she jumped up, ran over, and gave him a hug. "I've been wanting to do that for such a long time!"

He threw back his head and laughed.

…..

Watching the flame was hypnotic and every few minutes she had to remind herself to blink. It was nice just lying in his arms watching the fire dance in the fireplace at night. He never had much need for words, but she'd grown used to the silence. She loved the feel of his strong hands resting under her breast and on her stomach.

"When are you going to be ready to talk about it?"

The sound of his voice startled her and she tensed.

"It's okay, Patty. You're not the only one pretending this will last forever."

She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. "I keep thinking that this would work if the timing was right."

"Maybe so," he said softly.

"I need a chance to discover more about who I am besides a wife."

"I know."

She touched his face. "You're supposed to be this impossible guy. The four marriage man. I haven't really encountered him. Where is that guy?"

He grinned. "It took a few years, but he mellowed and then he found a girl who appreciated who he was and how he came to be that way."

"If I stayed, we would be happy for awhile, but then I would get restless."

He pulled a stray curl off her face. "I mean, where would we even go from here? We skipped the dating part altogether. You've already taken over my kitchen."

She shook her head. "Don't even start. That room was a like a cutlery junkyard. It needed attention."

"When are you leaving?"

"A few days."

He sighed. "Planning to stay long term?"

"Taking it day by day just like a certain guy I happen to know."

"The house will feel empty."

Her eyes watered. "I think my heart is going to feel empty."

He stroked her cheek. "Wait until you meet those kids."

She nodded. "I don't have any regrets."

"Me neither."

She snaked her hand under his shirt. "Feel like making some memories before I go?"

He pulled her face down to his and kissed her deeply. Then he pulled away and said, "Upstairs" in a husky voice. They untangled but he still found time to pull her shirt over her head before herding her toward the stairs.

…..

McGee picked her up early a few mornings later. Gibbs pushed her up against the wall while Tim waited in the car and whispered reminders about safety while she nodded obediently. He pressed a list of phone numbers into her hand and then he pulled her in for one last kiss. McGee honked out in the driveway and she broke away, biting her lip as she stopped to look at him one last time and then disappearing out the door.

He sought refuge in the basement, as he so often did, and tortured wood for hours. He finally emerged when he could no longer ignore the hunger in his gut and headed upstairs. He shuffled into the kitchen and found a note on the refrigerator. It told him that there was something for him on the porch.

Her easel was still set up and a sheet covered a frame. He knew what it was. He'd never looked, but he remembered the picture of Kelly she'd so admired. It would be like her to try and capture a little girl's joy, but it scared him to look. There was a reason no one had known about his family for so long. The reminders were so painful. It had only been in the last couple of years that he'd been able to leaf through the one photo album he still had.

He returned to the kitchen, and opened the refrigerator. She'd stocked it with fruits, vegetables, and sandwich fixings. Yet nothing appealed. He shut the door and stared at the back porch, his eyes burning. A typical move would be to divorce that room from his life, treating the portrait as if it were a living thing occupying space, but he knew that the longer he waited, the bigger its power would grow.

He took a deep breath and went back in, pulling the sheet from the portrait without hesitation. The sight of it shocked him. It was a portrait of exactly the photo he'd shown her, but it was unexpected. It wasn't a literal interpretation. The strokes were too broad and the colors were bright and unexpected. Yet the face was Kelly and the joy was etched deeply into every inch of the canvas. A thought came to him that if Kelly were standing next to him right now, she would be happy. She would recognize herself in it and she would like it. He covered his mouth at the thought, and something remarkable happened. He found that the emotions rising up in him weren't painful. He walked toward the canvas and lightly the raised edges of the oils. The colors were rich and vibrant and he liked the thought of it hanging in his dining room. Then he touched the frame, and noted that it was a cheap pine. He imagined creating a better frame, a way to house Kelly in something that he created. He picked up the portrait carefully and headed to his basement.

…

Tony slid his backpack off his shoulder and dropped into his chair. "I'm late."

Ziva looked up. "We noticed."

"Got behind an accident. Figure I'm due for a head slap. Where is my abuser?"

McGee sighed. "Haven't seen him. It's almost 9:00 too. I figure he's up with the director."

Tony grinned. "How was the weekend, McLake Trout?"

"Good. Dad's feeling better. It was our first time fishing in almost twenty years."

"Catch anything?"

"A few catfish. Abby blackened 'em Cajun style and fried 'em up. It was good."

Ziva smiled. "How did she and Francesca do?"

McGee nodded. "It was a rocky start. She jumped up and down in the rowboat with her first catch and the rocking flipped Francesca into the lake, but they recovered. By the end of the weekend, they were getting along like a house on fire."

Ziva frowned. "A house on fire is an indication of a good relationship?"

Tony smirked. "In the land of idioms it is, my sweet little kumquat."

"I'm not your kumquat," she grumbled.

Tony ignored her. "Hey Timmy, how's Mom? It's been three months. Has she received my care package?"

"I skyped with her last night. The kids love the movies you sent."

"I'm her favorite."

McGee rolled his eyes. "Undoubtedly."

"DiNozzo!"

Tony jumped at the sound of Vance's voice. The director walked into the bullpen. "Gibbs is going to be gone for a couple of weeks. You're in charge."

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened. The man has vacation time backed up to the tune of several months. You got a problem with him taking a break?"

"No."

"You can handle it, can't ya?"

Tony puffed up. "I got this!"

"Alright! There's a dead sailor in Anacostia."

"On it!" Tony was on his feet as Vance headed back up the stairs. Tony turned to see his team still seated. "Hey, you heard the man! Callout!"

McGee jumped up, grabbing his backpack. "Got it, Boss!"

Ziva tossed her head haughtily. "I'm driving!"

"When pigs fly, David."

She narrowed her eyes. "Does that mean yes or no?"

"No!" Tony and McGee said in unison.

….

The open air truck dropped him off a long dirt road winding up to a long one story building in the distance. The heat was oppressive, and the dust was everywhere as he walked. His jeans and t-shirt were already blanketed with grime, and sweat ran through the dust on his neck in rivulets. The duffel on his back was heavy, and he had to stop every few minutes to heft it from one shoulder to the other.

Still, he felt a deep sense of peace as he reveled in the low hum of the insects in the tall, weedy grass. Palms curved against the horizon as dark clouds hung low in the sky as fall as the eye could see. A man would truly have space to contemplate his existence against such a backdrop.

The kids noticed him first and came running. Barefoot, they came at him- the girls in dresses and the boys in white shirts and shorts. They shouted, "Hello!" at him over and over as they crowded him, touching his pants and arms. He gave way to their joy and laughed with them. The boys settled under his duffel and tried to carry the weight for him, but it was more than their wiry little bodies could carry.

He spotted her coming out of the long building. Her red hair was distinctive, and it framed her face in humid curls. She held her arms around her middle like a girl unsure of herself. He finally dropped the duffle in the yard and several boys struggled to drag it for him. The crowd of children had grown to close to fifty and adults were trying to herd them back inside. Patty stood in the midst of it all, staring at him.

The kids were hustled back into classrooms as he approached her. "Hey."

She cocked her head. "What are you doing here?"

He looked at the ground for a moment. Well, Tim mentioned last week that the roof here was leaking…said the rainy season was coming…Said you were trying to raise money to make repairs…And I had some vacation time."

Her breath caught. "So you just got on a plane and came."

He gestured at his duffle. "Brought my tools."

She shook her head and then came at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his sweaty neck. "I missed you!"

…..

The End


End file.
